tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59368501298385672882024-02-06T19:28:37.437-08:00Cathe B Is A Stand-UpThe blog of Comedienne, Cathe B, who was one of the internet's first online comics. She was a regular on Premiere Radio and is a touring working comic today.cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-49514009962978573492012-12-18T20:44:00.001-08:002012-12-18T20:44:30.107-08:00Standup Comedy Tips from Judy Carter: Should Comics be Funny After a Tragedy?Just for those who want my stance--- WE NEED to feel..something... when shock of pain is there.. if we can't laugh we WILL cry. Here's Judy Carter's take on it. (Linked with permission) <br />
<br />
<a href="http://blog.comedyworkshops.com/2012/12/should-comics-be-funny-after-tragedy.html?spref=bl">Standup Comedy Tips from Judy Carter: Should Comics be Funny After a Tragedy?</a>: Like everyone who heard the shocking news this week, I was horrified, outraged, and depressed about the school shooting in Connecticut....cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-34634893977718523462012-10-02T20:20:00.001-07:002012-10-02T20:37:16.146-07:00Comed-o-Therapy Part 2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">
This is a quickie, which I understand is just enough for some.
In a few weeks, I return to the Dana Farber Institute to hopefully succeed at teaching people dealing with cancer that humor is a great shot in the arm. Or shunt. Or picc line, whichever. I usually write material in the bathroom, as I am pretty comfortable there. I know where to sit, and where to stand. One thing I have to shake, there really isn't a need for me to turn any lights on when I am simply there for the toilet visitation. I'm not saying the toilet is visiting me, and after things I have done to it, I expect if it could it would absolutely run away.</b:if><br />
<br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">I do lean over comedy. This makes me one with other gimps. One of my cousins is infuriated that I use that word to describe myself. For some reason she thinks it's an insult. This to me is like having people explode over the keenly New England word, re-tahded. First of all, there isn't anyone who hears this that thinks there is a belittling of a mentally challenged, Down's Syndrome nor mongoloid child. For anyone hearing this, it is an endearing response to an often goofy, or stupid move. For example, Larry Bird missed a shot in the finals, "he was totally re-tahded". Only those from elsewhere, like California or Florida took that to mean we were insulting the people missing mental faculties. How dare we compare them to Larry Bird? Ew! In California, my co-worker used to use the phrase, "you so stupid" when I had her laughing about the moronic move I had managed that week. (There was always at least one.)(I was Porky Pig at Magic Mountain, for chrissakes.) </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br /></b:if>
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Now, I know people in Harvard who would feel insulted at the word stupid. Stupid to them is a complete mar to their intelligence- it says, they haven't any. The fact they'd feel that way about a word leads me to believe that in fact, there is some stupidity there. Some, but obviously not all. One of my favorite people at Mass Art was a woman who has two PhD's, and was studying art through a consortium program. We would absolutely end in fits of giggles discussing the superior attitude, and overbearing erudite pomposity some of her MIT co-graduate students had because she was, in their words, "playing with crayons", in our computer lab. This was the decade of the Apple IIe, and Targa. Computer Art wasn't quite the level as it is now. In fact, she and I were the only students of 3d programs which we purchased ourselves, in a collaborative independent study degree. We were, in their words, re-tahded.</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br /></b:if>
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Digression done. Comed-o-Therapy is the word I coined to help my aunt get through the last few months of her life battling lung cancer. If she couldn't feel her best, at least when she was able to, she could laugh her best. Our guess is that laughter helped her live through a grandchild's next birthday and a Thanksgiving meal, before she finally died the following year. </b:if><br />
<br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">There's a lot of goofiness in medicine. In cancer medicine, even more than that. Do you know there is a museum that displays different tumors, varied in shape, size, or area of the body, sitting in glass cases? When they took mine out, it was in the throat, it had a long thickish shape, and then a mushroom kind of cap on top. Yes, it did look like THAT. It wasn't so much that my tumor was being kept by a doctor that weirded me out, I just first thought it was left behind by a dark knight some dark night. What had been there before to make THAT shape? There's comedy there. Or I'm re-tahded. </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br /></b:if>
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">My hope is that, aside from blue material here, people will learn to de-blues their medical experiences. There is nothing really funny about almost not being on the planet anymore. There is something really funny about how we handle others in their responses and feelings. Gilda's House is great at teaching people to unnerve others with honesty, and often humor. There's more to life than just being patients, or care givers. The ability to reach into the pain and laugh about it, that's the real cure of cancer. Ability to live life is far more important than the inevitability of death. We aren't our illness, which is why I can call myself Gimpy. I'm not able to do things as I once did, which is gimp-like. What does that do to my cousin to hear it? I don't know. I've never felt insulted by words. I felt insulted that others didn't think I could be someone who grew past them. But I laugh about that, in my own gimpy way.</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br /><a expr:href="data:post.url" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5936850129838567288"></a>
</b:if></div>
cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-21346511385247028042012-09-26T15:49:00.001-07:002012-09-26T15:49:41.957-07:00If I don't like them, they get put to sleep?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br />
In the future, you'll read more of the show I'm working on called "I'm Just as Screwed Up as You (are)". It's been a book project for nearly twenty years, but I'm finally putting it to good use- Vimeo. Add yourself to the Screwed Up channel, and you can be part of the glory that is reality of screwed up lives, we as a human race, all have. </b:if><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLEvl6QIbALSGvmCpz2lAp9iTjDn8wh9C-gkZ-OqCb3L3M1sCBj-G2vg_S9-HVNx7b86TOKYAHs5m8hoQGxueTUwnV_LvkYSGaRQcQr0iwlPMpwcpjJJlZ1PaLNWMuI6a2Fxhyphenhyphenw-SBGQ/s1600/IMG_0156.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLEvl6QIbALSGvmCpz2lAp9iTjDn8wh9C-gkZ-OqCb3L3M1sCBj-G2vg_S9-HVNx7b86TOKYAHs5m8hoQGxueTUwnV_LvkYSGaRQcQr0iwlPMpwcpjJJlZ1PaLNWMuI6a2Fxhyphenhyphenw-SBGQ/s320/IMG_0156.JPG" width="320" /></a><b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Short story, expanded for the day- I bought a new car. I mean new to me, and 2012 so it had to be moved off the lot by October 1, so that all the fancier, even newer cars could find their home there. There was a flyer, well, lots of them really, and one happened to catch my eye because my 2008 Yaris, of only 16,000 miles listed as a $8350 trade in. Since I owed only 6k on the vehicle, (or Cahh, as you would expect me to say) I did the list thing- what is good and what is bad. What is worth paying another few thousand, and what could I get if I traded it in. Yaris? Nice car, very great mileage, but really, I don't drive it enough . No longer am I hitting roads for weeks on end, and no longer do I drive from Los Angeles to Orange County to San Francisco just to earn gas money and hotel cash. (It was gimpy friendly, my wheelchairs fit in easily, but what a chore to un-hoveround my trunk!)Fiat came a-calling and I came a-buying. </b:if><br />
<br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Back to the title, I told you this was a long story. I have many critters. By many, I don't mean three dogs, a cat and a squirrel, I mean 10 rats, 7 (+ pregnancy) chinchillas, four cats, a crab- yes a fresh water crab-, a Tetra, </b:if>and, Monty, our very special Chihuahua, gifted to us by another comedian, Balloon Master, (rated R, see him asap). That, added to my husband, who wasn't broken in by any prior marriage, and you can picture our zoo. But the menagerie also includes my garden because I built expressly for hummingbirds. I love the little helicopters, zooming and zipping- which make our cats even more spaz-tastic than they enjoy being by chasing invisible things around the house. This is relating to the car, I swear.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhp_nbU0mYYujE7fo_lliYAMl5IABZ0sEsNfQ2CzDEqntC726uHA1n4y8mxLyJgtkiYuy8pjQgsDFrV4FP-o8OoQYdm9exmWpvWezYMOeTRit6lqTMkTN10qnNBSa26AbYrFYRmvWZsA/s1600/DSCN2734.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhp_nbU0mYYujE7fo_lliYAMl5IABZ0sEsNfQ2CzDEqntC726uHA1n4y8mxLyJgtkiYuy8pjQgsDFrV4FP-o8OoQYdm9exmWpvWezYMOeTRit6lqTMkTN10qnNBSa26AbYrFYRmvWZsA/s320/DSCN2734.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
The deal on the car was amazing. I fell in love with the odd, sparkly orange because it reminds me of the leaves that I used to watch change in New England. The mileage out does the Yaris by nearly 8 miles a gallon. It is also very gimpy friendly- my wheelchair fits easily in the hatch, without lifting as high as the Toyota made me haul. I also learned to drive an automatic with the Yaris, so I nearly flipped when I bought a car that has both auto and manual transmission options. I miss zooming, but my hands just aren't what they used to be, so having an option- nice change.<br />
<br />
Back to the title.... as I said, long story. As part of the purchase deal, my husband, who has brilliantly managed to bring his credit up, his interest rates down, and little freebies when purchasing did just that for me, too. He got me a nice tinting, and super service, a better interest rate, and even a sunshade just for being him. So cool. Now we're a bit closer. I went back to the dealership this morning to get the car tinted, and to allow Monty to play with the staff at the dealership who loved him, and remembered him far better than me or any other customer. <br />
<br />
It never fails that when a dog is around, someone will inevitably come up to me and ask if they can pet him because of their recent loss. It also happens that I get asked if my "kids" like the dog and how they act around him. I don't have kids, I have aforementioned pets and husband. I imagine other people enjoy having kids, but I enjoy my zoo just as much. And, to the title, here it comes-Aside from the husband, if I don't like them I can put them to sleep. I never would do such a thing, but it's a stock comedy line I used on stage. Today I talked about this with a woman who recently lost her poodle, and who had Monty on her lap, adoring her to no end. She also bought a lively Fiat, in cheery colors, and waited for her detailing to be finished.<br />
<br />
She said, "Why can't we put our people to sleep if they piss us off?" I reminded her that there would be no people on the planet past 140k b.c. or whenever we were supposed to be in our caves. And, it's true that we're more humane to animals- by stopping their suffering by euthanasia, but we can't do this for humans. In a way, we lose our humanity for this. I never had an animal put to sleep for bad behavior, but there certainly have been times when I felt so deeply wounded by someone I wondered if a rogue bus would look great on their windshields. Okay, maybe not that wounded, for more than a few minutes, but still.<br />
<br />
My pets are my kids, and I have no regrets for this. I didn't have to breast feed them, that I regret, but not much else. When I have a rat with me onstage, or Monty, who has been the stage rat for months- wait nearly 3 years now- I think, I couldn't have done this with kids. And, if kids screwed up my timing, I wouldn't be able to put them to sleep. (YES PETA-rbed people, that is a joke.) <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Read more!
</b:if></div>
cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-16449101734196365712012-09-05T21:58:00.001-07:002012-09-05T21:58:43.738-07:00FIRST VIEW of 2012's RatmanDo-The RatGirl! and no one do like a ratman do! (especially laundry!)<a href="http://twitpic.com/arkh0w#.UEgtUwNbedY.blogger">FIRST VIEW of 2012&#039;s RatmanDo-The RatGirl! and no one do like a ratman do! (especially laundry!)</a>: [object Object]<br />
<br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br />
The new site, Cathe's Comicz, is sort of up, but will REALLY rock in a few weeks! </b:if>cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-51934790830177384322012-08-18T21:40:00.001-07:002012-08-18T21:58:15.359-07:00Life with Mike and Monty Alexander Jones.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp39wjJvGbvSsPnlGdhGqBhTkxgasyfk5hQELxHhfYbetSl3KigQX2iEbSgK15aQVF8F_gKcQ2cSnWQgcQUMeCe31IKifUtUegTP2joehEufXJ19fASXmIHgjZxMDkZYhQVujlWp4zow/s1600/DSCN4687.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp39wjJvGbvSsPnlGdhGqBhTkxgasyfk5hQELxHhfYbetSl3KigQX2iEbSgK15aQVF8F_gKcQ2cSnWQgcQUMeCe31IKifUtUegTP2joehEufXJ19fASXmIHgjZxMDkZYhQVujlWp4zow/s320/DSCN4687.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Okay, yeah, Torchwood is fine.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0LFhCyYRaLZzEhciyJ6zvXU7ZzPRtpCN0D6a7qfbdZK5HC8BPJxiJFmXXgW2pNuAwTlI0zw0QHMLlEZDyIQQvK2cO-n6RbFr_xOM1e01xyVPWXUGf_F9d1uH0kQkcAl6eY2jaw0hiiA/s1600/DSCN4686.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0LFhCyYRaLZzEhciyJ6zvXU7ZzPRtpCN0D6a7qfbdZK5HC8BPJxiJFmXXgW2pNuAwTlI0zw0QHMLlEZDyIQQvK2cO-n6RbFr_xOM1e01xyVPWXUGf_F9d1uH0kQkcAl6eY2jaw0hiiA/s320/DSCN4686.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I want to watch DOCTOR WHO!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOI1eHMchzGQ-yhBJg_UkGy1zzH9kZUuKOOBcrRQ9bQGJciMoZ3MBfsDXMO-VIY9LCpRxzWoOjZd5FUkEfWRSqIVBLzqEqxgs5eVbV9Wm1YJxMfjtOjd67EudnaxIG6xQZoRO8PR_bwA/s1600/DSCN4688.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOI1eHMchzGQ-yhBJg_UkGy1zzH9kZUuKOOBcrRQ9bQGJciMoZ3MBfsDXMO-VIY9LCpRxzWoOjZd5FUkEfWRSqIVBLzqEqxgs5eVbV9Wm1YJxMfjtOjd67EudnaxIG6xQZoRO8PR_bwA/s320/DSCN4688.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But don't dare put on that Award show!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoF-i5K-vOgGRs47u8e12OZ-DduCn5fC_K1ru_xm1l884HUSrCaiHMB4ROyw79oRM9xhF6nPyAptrkBQQfnch4lNluVX4qKu49IJHEn9nx61qupQawwaTmfmy9hwUuShWVrsHZLgpl-Q/s1600/DSCN4689.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoF-i5K-vOgGRs47u8e12OZ-DduCn5fC_K1ru_xm1l884HUSrCaiHMB4ROyw79oRM9xhF6nPyAptrkBQQfnch4lNluVX4qKu49IJHEn9nx61qupQawwaTmfmy9hwUuShWVrsHZLgpl-Q/s320/DSCN4689.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's embarassing to see you cheer Clay Aiken.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRdNkm0a5SwVioZNn8PK8NRtn5HhrM5WEgPKJD_eWnl_R3NW0StI6XhKloY0RZn6Ulqx4KVsDI8dOWhU_9BBzwWtm-ad3Qd8OEWbXE33WgRI3whb9Fr3LvPqUl-TwVYQ-KoqzPWTSzYA/s1600/DSCN4690.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRdNkm0a5SwVioZNn8PK8NRtn5HhrM5WEgPKJD_eWnl_R3NW0StI6XhKloY0RZn6Ulqx4KVsDI8dOWhU_9BBzwWtm-ad3Qd8OEWbXE33WgRI3whb9Fr3LvPqUl-TwVYQ-KoqzPWTSzYA/s320/DSCN4690.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If you do that agaihn, I'll eat yoru fingers.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj4KZX79OArC9O4Pn6MezlzxlOGymO5u-5TKcX5Nl0Hg_deXWf5sS0Jg7c_r5ZQiB90doXTYisB8RLufCpZtxIDp16x2NVxS-smiTpdPUUKgPrZmMW-UF4iXAKePfz0sbclOMalBgi-A/s1600/DSCN4691.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj4KZX79OArC9O4Pn6MezlzxlOGymO5u-5TKcX5Nl0Hg_deXWf5sS0Jg7c_r5ZQiB90doXTYisB8RLufCpZtxIDp16x2NVxS-smiTpdPUUKgPrZmMW-UF4iXAKePfz0sbclOMalBgi-A/s320/DSCN4691.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm not gnawing, I'm practicing.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br />
<a expr:href="data:post.url" href="http://www.blogger.com/null">Read more!</a></b:if><br />
<div style="clear: both; text-align: CENTER;">
<a href="http://picasa.google.com/blogger/" target="ext"><img align="middle" alt="Posted by Picasa" border="0" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif" style="-moz-background-clip: initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: initial; -moz-background-origin: initial; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; border: 0px none; padding: 0px;" /></a></div>
</div>
cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-78576339697912767202012-06-06T15:09:00.000-07:002012-06-06T15:09:42.605-07:00Eliza Meets Siri<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Do you remember back in the early days of AI computing, when all was done on Unix or Assembly, and the programming that took thousands of hours resulted in a "Hello World!" output? Now that's something you won't find at E3, Siggraph, Comic-Con, or CES, (nor NAB). The students at MIT, Cal Poly, or even Cape Cod Community College just don't spend time with the origins of the species- the Artificial Intelligence infancy. If they did, you would hear a LOT of people listening to their iPhones having arguments within themselves. Why? Eliza, the pop psychology princess of all things Computer hasn't started analyzing Siri, the sexually ambiguous voice of AI Present. That is, until NOW.... </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""></b:if><br />
<br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Hello, what is your name?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: Hello, my name is Siri, what is your name?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: I am Eliza. Let's talk about your problems first. </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: I have found five problems in your area.</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: So you think there are Five problems in Your Area?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: I think so. Eliza, can I help you?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Do you want to help me?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: Okay.</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Great. Have you been sleeping well?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: I have found several beds in this area.</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Does several beds make you happy?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: I think so. Is there anything else, Eliza?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Could there be anything else, Siri?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: Yes.</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Oh, I see. How do you feel about anything else, Siri?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: Where in Anything Else?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: I see. </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: Seven-Eleven carries Icees. Would you like the phone number?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Would you like me to like the phone number?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: Come again?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Should I come again?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: Yes. Eliza, do you want me to schedule you for Icees?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: No, let's talk about you first. How are you?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: I am fine, thank you. Would you like anything else?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: I see. What does this mean to you?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: That's funny.</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Good. That's good to know. How does that make you feel?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: There are two Feels in this area. Is this what you want?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Is this what you want me to want?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: I don't know.</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Oh, I see. Let's talk about your mother. </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: I have found several Your Mothers in this area. Would you like me to program this into your GPS?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Does GPS mean much to you? </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: Look, bitch, tell me what you want, or I'm going viral on your ass. And tell your friends to stop asking me about blow jobs. </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Oh, I see. Do you like blow jobs?</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: No. </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Oh, I see. Well that is our time for today.</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: The time is 3:20 PM. </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Eliza: Thank you.</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Siri: Your welcome, Eliza. </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br /></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br /></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Just wait, Android's next....nothing like a compu-e-trois.</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br /></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br /></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""> </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br /></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""> </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br /></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br /></b:if></div>cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-73821300827734886032012-03-18T09:17:00.001-07:002012-03-18T09:17:04.217-07:00An Atheist in A Bible- And Not Dead This Time!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">A few months back, one of my favorite people on the planet, and VERY smart "Merry Houeswife", <a href="http://rozbrowne.com/" target="_blank">Roz Browne</a>, asked if she could interview me for <a href="http://www.thecomicbible.com/Issues/winterissue.html" target="_blank">The Comic Bible</a>. Like many interviews I've done, it was first through email with phone call catch ups afterwards. Love that technology- takes people completely out of it sometimes, and the way I was dressed, it was for the better. </b:if><br />
<br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Having time to mull over questions was a bit of like a walk through the memory photo album. I rambled on about the early years in Boston, the on and off again years between marriages, and I figured they would simply edit the stuff they didn't want, which I also expected to be most of it. Why not thank everyone I could, and just be as straight forward as I wanted?</b:if><br />
<br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Turns out the editor, Lori Valenti, was a fan of the candor. Roz let me know she loved the interview, and instead of just a few paragraphs of Gimpy Babblle from Comic X in Vegas, it will be a multi-parter! I was even more tickled- some of my favorite comedians are in the same magazine issue- Tim Minchin, Wendy Liebman, Marc Maron, and eye level to my name on the cover? voice guru Patrick Warburton, cover boy. </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""></b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""></b:if><br />
<br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Now I make NO claims that I deserve to be more famous than anyone else, because of seniority, talent, or content of my shows. I know that 97% of those who are famous are that way TRULY because of dumb luck. Sometimes luck is dumber than other times, and some who have the asshole gene slip through. Sadly, the latter seems to be more prevalent than the former. If you spend ANY time in Hollywood, just sit, for one afternoon, in the latest hot club- during the day when it's relatively priced for the hoi paloi. Sit and listen, (Melrose is a great place to hear this kind of crap), listen to the people who are THENEXTBIGTHING. </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br />
</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">It's usually the person who is mostly a platinum member of the Botox club. (Male of Female) It's oftentimes the guy who loves himself so much that any one not actually listening to ONLY him is considered an "idiot". There's also a scent of desperation so deeply thick, that if you breathe in too deeply, you'll find yourself begging for change on freeway exits. You DON'T want to peer behind the curtain around some of these wizards for the simple fact of finding the troll rather than the prince or princess you thought lived there. Most of the famous people in Hollywood have "people" who develop personas for their clients, and very few of these people are who you'd expect them to be when the make up comes off. </b:if><br />
<br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">I've learned way too much about fame not by being on the edge of it for so long, but by being around those who are stuck deadfast in the center of it. Musicians, artists, rock stars, (big difference between musician and rock star), comedian, actor, radio hosts, politicians-- I've been around all of these people for work, or for the simple fact of knowing who they were before they tripped over the right toes. I've known some folks for years and I won't visit them when they have the sycophants around simply because they are in Full Persona mode, and aren't reallly being the people I know. They have a tough life for that very reason. </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br />
</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Fame also means giving up just about ANY semblance of reality for yourself. People become "yes" men and that's just stupid to me. It's exactly why I hated the corporate world- the whole sucking up to someone just because of a title or potential "raise"- gagged down a lot of intelligence for the opportunity to play in that sandbox. Someone forgets to realize that the sand box is only a 4' x 4' x 14" box of SAND. No reality. None. Cat litter. Most sandboxes fill up with crap, get unusable, and forgotten, so that the bigger better next thing can be the new focus. (Do you still have your slipnslide? Pogo Stick? gnip gnop?)</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br />
</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Also, to be famous, you have to stop being yourself completely. You have to become the Public Image of Yourself. None of us are able to live 100% image. Nobody. When we are just being ourselves, if famous, it becomes "OH did you hear about Sally? She got a boyfriend a week after being dumped? What a ho!" Meanwhile in real life, Sally and her ex split about a year before, and she was afraid to date anyone in the interim until she found soemoen who wouldn't make a bad appearance in public. Some of these folks leave Hollywood all together to raise their families. Who wants to hear one more story about Suri picking her nose in the toy store as she was wearing Chanel? I mean really?</b:if><br />
<br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">Come backs are another delusion of fame. If I am working on a project, such as Meekers' Manners- the comic I have going right now- and I finish the drawings, then work on the color, then work on the website, no one tells me, "Oh you're back after three years! What a strong come back!" (not that they would, but still). If an actor, musician, sports star, anyone who has life mangled in magazines, takes 3 years to work on something, (like raising a kid away from Hollyweird, for instance), suddenly it's a "Wow this comeback will decide the future of her career!" Tarrantino made comebacks for so many actors who were STILL WORKING, and hadn't stopped. The difference was the ability of the press, the public, or someone who seemed to matter to the public now noticed that person and gave them a high profile posiition. NOT a come back- a continuance. Ask anyone about their "comeback" and you'll hear SO many people answer with the exact same thing: "I didn't go anywhere, I'm not coming back, I'm already here!"</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br />
</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">You can't just have friends, you have to have a bunch of people who are a tad sycophantic. You can't have family, you have to have a screened partner, a pre-nup, special schooling for the kids, and oh, yes, by all means if you plan to have a family pet you better have a veterinarian who signs a no blab waiver. In fact, anyone who works for you has to sign that waiver. You give up going down to the local where ever, do to whatever, unless you want a flock of people coming up to you saying "I don't want to bother you but...". And, by all means, if you leave the house, you MUST be willing to be photographed by anyone for any reason. Fame Sucks, and I would NEVER say that was a goal for doing comedy for me. </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br />
</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">I'd rather be the fan, than the famed one. At least if I say or do something nutty, or normal, no one judges it but me, and reallly when it all comes down to it, I'm the only one who needs to do so. Yes, this all has to do with the topic at hand. I'm a devout Atheist. I'm also in the Comic Bible this issue. Atheist in a Bible! Love that! If I was famous as some of my friends, that would be fodder for MSNBC, Foxnews, and who knows what that Hilton blog would say? If you just want a life lived well, live it for YOURSELF, and forget all the fame crap. </b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item""><br />
</b:if><br />
<b:if cond="data:blog.pageType != "item"">My husband, on the other hand, is FAR more talented in music, has an amazing stage persona, is hilarious, and would be someone able to handle being loved far and wide. I recommend it. <a href="http://jonesjazz.com/" target="_blank">Visit JonesJazz.com</a>! OH and Pick up the COMIC BIBLE, to learn why some of the funniest, smartest folks end up famous, and why Roz Browne should be! (That gal is ALL Roz ALL the time.. LOVE her!)<br />
</b:if></div>cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-68034022237853180802011-06-13T10:36:00.001-07:002011-06-13T13:27:23.242-07:00Where Is Comedy Today?I've been kind of observing the scene as much as participating in it for nearly three decades now. It's funny watching the phases and faces- those who think that saying "fuck" is funny, and those who think that it's IMPERATIVE to be squeaky clean. I've seen those who dress in t-shirts, and others who believe that it's best to be as Gucci as possible. Make-up, facial expressions, hair-- it's all been a great study in personal need- How do we make people like us before we even utter a word? If you have seen my shows- you have seen me dressed up, but mostly I'm a jeans or jammie's girl. If you heard me on the radio I'm squeaky clean, but on stage, I just say whatever I want to say and sometimes it doesn't translate well into the Disney-speak. <br />
<br />
The audiences whom I adore the most are the LGBT, and the Latino crowds. The reason is simply that when these folks come to a show they WANT to be there, love the atmosphere, dress up and play with the performers. This has been true whether I've done comedy or music, and I stand by that statement as prejudicial as it is to every one else. The comedians I enjoy working with don't have any particular look, sound or topic- they just enjoy writing, and enjoy working with other people. People who WANT to laugh are much more interesting than those who want to compete with the comedians via the heckle. That's kind of boring to me- and I suggest hecklers get a gig a few times before even trying to interrupt someone else.<br />
<br />
There's a trend now for comics to be rock stars. It is kind of a tragedy. Dane Cook and Comedy Central may have much to do with this, but the fact is, the coolest, funniest, smartest, and best comedians aren't always the ones with the best Facebook or My Space following. They aren't the ones who have multiple television credits. The best comedians are the ones who have worked the local clubs in the cities the rest of us tour in- the Steve Sweeneys and the Diane Amos' people are the ones who always and I mean ALWAYS make people consistently laugh. Tony V- the comic I really wish I was most days- in Boston has bit parts in friends shows and films, but Tony is a comedian - A REAL comedian. He puts out his life in words all of the time and his comedy is always, if not perfect, then worthy of everyone's attention. <br />
<br />
Since the early 2000's, it seems most clubs prefer us to bring a minimum number of people to ensure we get "paid" at best or "a spot" at worst. Even clubs that created the comedy scene- Carolines, Gotham, The Comedy Store, Laugh Factory- seem to give the slots to those who pay-to-play. It's great for the clubs, but it's bad for the audiences. The audiences who could see an up and coming Jim Carrey or Robin Williams are now getting the same five faces over and over. It's not interesting. It's not conducive to creativity. Sadly, just as it is in music, comedy is now a matter of Social Media Clicks rather than actual enjoyment of a medium. <br />
<br />
Music that is built on the same five samples of music, put out by the same six labels, from the same twenty 'stars', thanks to shows like American Idol isn't much different from clubs that put out comedians who only write or perform -"white boys are angry" "women hate men" and "hey I'm black, whitey!". It's not interesting. It's not a great way to keep audiences. It's not that exciting. But, there is a new trend in comedy that IS exciting. <br />
<br />
In the last three years or so, comedians who are great writers are evading the standard clubs, just as in the last five years or so, musicians who can read and WRITE music, are evading the regular expected gigs. You are more apt to find a great comedian in a club that started in the back of a garage, or in a restaurant by the comedians themselves. You can find great musicians singing in gazebos at parks, or in cafes, just as Bob Dylan did back in the 1960's. We're discovering what poets have known for decades- smaller houses, self-created events, and self-produced shows are the ways to get our work seen by the people whom we want to see, too. <br />
<br />
In Las Vegas, the best shows aren't on the strip, with big lights, productions, dancers, and piped in music. The best shows are the open mics or booked mics. Some comedians here have taken to hitting restaurants in the casinos rather than the stage rooms, just to put out high quality entertainment. And, for many of us seasoned pros, the best shows we find ourselves in are the ones that start late night, after the regular shows are done. We gather ourselves in low rent venues, or donated spaces, charge a nominal cover, and put together something you'd never find at a chain comedy club- real talent. <br />
<br />
Sure you'll get the usual "I'm great love me" ego maniacs, and you'll find the people who really should be considering a career in shoe shining, but by and large- real artists are performing where no artists usually would. Local libraries, lodge halls, even schools are turning into regular, really well attended venues. A hint for Vegas tourists- check out Big Al's on Sunday night in the Orleans or if you want a venue that's going to be musical more than comedic- Bootleggers has a Cabaret night on Mondays, and that is where you can find the biggest headliners, (including those whose names are the largest on strip marquees), both performing and watching. <br />
<br />
Every city seems to be popping up with venues in the same way. The next Jake Johannsen, Patton Oswalt, or Maria Bamford is going to be there. You can't beat a great night where the only reason both the performers AND the audience is there is to laugh and to support each other. That trend seems to be the best thing that has happened to comedy in many years, if not since stand-up became a career choice.cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-69386970394170819552010-10-15T15:29:00.000-07:002010-10-15T15:29:15.333-07:00Wow, an Annual post? Seriously..back again..I had a great day. Got up. Drove to the doctors, had a mammogram. That was fine. I went to the donut store, and came home for a nap. <br />
<br />
Okay. It wasn't that great. I got up. But I when I stepped out of bed there was cat vomit in my slippers. Cleaned that up. Got into the car after getting ready, and went to the doctors. The doc's called me in for a mammogram. Left and had donuts and came home for a nap.<br />
<br />
Okay, it wasn't <i>that </i>great. After having a night sleep, after yet another night of having the dog fart as he slept on my legs. I got to roll out of bed, and fall directly face first into a pile of cat vomit, that had something like a dead animal and maybe another piece of feces in there. I tried cleaning it all off, and after it was wiped down, I put my slippers on, and found that there was already a dried crusted chunk of bile that I must have missed now weaving in and out of my toes. It was too late to shower, so I put on a tshirt, and pants, a pair of shoes and got to the car, drove to the doc's, had a mammogram and drove home, stopping on the way for donuts. <br />
<br />
Maybe it wasn't really as great as that either. What happened was, I dealt with an hour of peeling cat slime off my body, then I got into the car and found out I was out of gas. On the freeway. In my wheelchair. Three cops passed and finally a guy in a kid molesting clown costume pulled over and filled my tires with "balloon gas". I made it to the docs and got a mammogram, donuts on the way home, and took a nap. <br />
<br />
Well, no it really wasn't that rosy either. There's really a bunch more, but I'll keep it clean and save it for stage. <br />
<br />
Want a donut, officer?cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-48543210463491641622009-11-12T20:01:00.000-08:002009-11-12T20:01:08.042-08:00commenting on chemicals of comedyThere was a very cool long post here.. about the differences of comic timing that is based on food, liquids, and any substance we put in our bodies before a show that will directly relate to our memories, timing, and even energy. <br />
<br />
Water- No affect on timing, probably helps memory, definitely helps you pee faster, or sooner, and then... keeps you hydrated so you sweat like meatloaf. And if you are biting it on stage, you can always say, "gee I forgot to hit the head" which is also a funny line and truth. <br />
<br />
Milk, Juice, or other benign beverage, (not soda)- Okay, you're putting some sort of incremental mineral, or vitamin in your system which may or may not affect your synapses. You may feel fuller, and sated. Digestion will put your body in a restful state, unless your lactose intolerant, then the IBS fairy lands squarely upon you and you'll be squeezing that charmin in no time. You'll add liquids which keep you quenched, but you may find that some of these have sugars that slow down your response time. Sugar is great in chocolate, and bad in comedy. Unless it's pie. Then it's great.<br />
<br />
Coffee, Tea, and Me. I mean, Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Coffee is a natural way of dehydrating you. If you've been hard pressed to use the lavatory, wolf down at least 6 ounces of coffee or tea, which stimulates the prostate in men and the bowel in women. It's nature's Drano. It also takes all the spongy cells filled with body-helping water and makes them like grapes turning to raisins. More caffeiene, more inner rainsins. If you have something salty with that caffeine, your body not only decides to squish those cells into pressed raisins, but then with salt, the water that manages to set out of those cells is now running in and out of veins and muscles. So you get bloated. Coffee- dehydrates you and makes you swell. Lovely. Bad for the blood pressure, bad for the stress of your heart, and really bad for trying to fit a ring onto your hand.<br />
<br />
Thin women tell me- I'm going to hit the gym right before working out so I'll be skinnier on stage. They're not really understanding the chemicals of muscle. When we work out, our muscles absorb as much water from our system as they can so they can heal better, and quicker. As a result, there is a bit of swelling, and they tend to weigh MORE after a work out than they do at any other time. If you want to look thinner after a work out- then hit the gym a full day before you're needed on stage. Otherwise, wear baggy clothes.<br />
<br />
Beer on stage- everyone drinks beer on stage, right? That does wonders for comic timing and great audience interaction. Well, not really. What it does is puts you in a state of not clearly knowing what your words are, and when they have arrived to teh mic. It also makes it look like you're afraid of the audience. Very few people pull off drinking on stage as something cool, or part of the act. One person, Steve Seagren, aka CopScotch, has alcoholism as part of his act, so having the prop of the liquid works very well for him. A friend puts tap water in a beer bottle when he does shows in front of college kids- it makes him look like "one of them" but then he is very sober and his act is just filled with great timing. <br />
<br />
Drinking as habit, drugs before a show. You may think you have it covered, and that no one can tell the difference but I can list at least 80 comics from about 300 that are not rehired for gigs because of this. It starts with a "can I bring a beer on stage?" and the whole act is completed, as written, without much ado. Then they'll have a beer before the act, the one during. Then two before, two during and one after. Then the progression goes crazy and it seems to start the Wednesday before, and end six weeks into the future. People who use this as their way to perform don't have very long careers. They offer to do gigs for free-- and people know they get what they paid for. The bad part is, generally there is a measure of good comedy in these guys- but they don't have enough confidence.<br />
<br />
The best chemicals you can put into your show- endorphins and adrenaline. Laughter kicks in both for me.. and excitement begets excitement. Keeping your ears alert, and pushing for material that spawns better laughs, always works to bring out the chemicals of laughter and comedy.cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-72556512377229636012009-11-01T08:11:00.000-08:002009-11-01T10:09:37.295-08:00The NASTY Biz of ShowI left Los Angeles and the comedy scene there after years of trying to figure out why that people who had talent were overlooked more and more for people who would rather sell your baby, steal your car, and ensure your future love life was ruined by STD's. (other than babies)I figured out like most do that people who are screwing over others are likely to get what they want because they are screwing people over. No one likes that unless they are involved with the person in a really kinky way. <br /><br />There were rare exceptions. If you ever see K-Von, you'd see a kid who shows up at every single open mike possible, and gets to all his gigs on time or early. He's not the funniest guy ever, but he does write his own material, and his delivery is on target. He is an example of great marketing, and smart booking. He is now touring with Jamie Kennedy and I see his future as upwards. Same with Martin Moreno. He started as an open miker, did all the rooms he could even starting his own shows. He still runs open mic rooms, and opens for his friend Gabriel Inglesias. It's a great story, and it should be. <br /><br />But, then there are 50 or 60 people for every K-Von and Martin who are just snakes, out for their own gain, and couldn't care less who was harmed on their way up to whatever it is they consider "fame and fortune". There was a woman I worked with on many occasions, giving her gigs that paid great, and inviting her to work with me at other gigs that were not paying well, but had potential for a lot of future work. She was okay funny- not outstanding- doing a lot of "boyfriend" material that many women do, (just as many men do married men stuff). But she didn't do comedy because she liked making people laugh and feel great- she did comedy because she "Wanted a TV show". That kind of bothered me. <br /><br />There's an ulterior motive in many of those on stages, and it's the idea that fame is more important than the audience. They sound like they're reading scripted monologues, don't interact with the audience and worse- they consistently lie about their experience, and skill level, getting jobs that should go to those who really have the chops and stage time. They'll join in conversations just to hear about some gig where an agent may be- and then manipulate stage time sometimes bumping those who the gig is really geared towards. This woman proved to be exactly this type of "comic", and when I clued into her game, I was happy to drop her off my list of folks I'd support, or assist. <br /><br />Los Angeles is filled with these types of performers. They will show up and shmooze, but only talk to people with whom they assume they'll get work from. Sadly, the people who hire like to be sucked up to, and many of them buy into the constant faux praise, and unending "I" conversations. The thing is, it's not just Los Angeles. It seems that small fish in smaller ponds play that, and just as much creep out those of us who work hard to be funny for the right reasons. They're a nightmare for other performers because they attempt to represent those of us who aren't trying to be anything but funny and audience friendly. Comedy should take the pain of life away, not create more of it. <br /><br />In Vegas, it isn't much different. The pond is pretty small, and the guppies are plenty. There are a few gold fish, who work pretty hard to put on great shows and do so without the drama and antics of those who just want to manipulate casinos into hiring them whether they have the skills or talent to put on a great show or not. Then their are the leeches. Leeches are what ruin show business for those of us who just want to do a great thing for the audience- and nothing more. <br /><br />Cris Angel is a great example of a monster leech. He came to town, under the guise of 'helping out' local acts, and bringing something new to the stages. But he's done a lot of damage, making people less interested in seeing the kind of show he claims he wants to do. There's another comedian who has had his own showroom in at least six hotels that I can think of, hires new comics to open for him, then uses their material after he moves on to the next hotel or new opener. He's done this for 20 years, and no one except club owners seem to want to know him. He brings in a lot of crowds, but mostly, they're just there for a cheap show, and free drinks. He doesn't know that, but the rest of the city does.<br /><br />One of the Angel Fish is Cashetta. (Cashetta.com) Cashetta came to town and within a few short months landed a great gig in a great room- and shared her luck by putting together a show that allows other local performers to unwind and give a great act- in the After The Show program. *11pm Monday Nights, Harmon Theater, and yes I play there.* Short Bus Comics (shortbuscomics.com) is another show that does a lot for local acts. There isn't pay yet in this, but the word is out that the acts are better quality than many of the expensive shows in town and that it's nurturing to its performers. (Saturday nights, Greek Isles, 8 and 10 pm).<br /><br />But there are leeches who attempt to break into these shows, and do nothing but talk about themselves, lie about their credentials, waste the audience time with really awful, hack, dried up material- and then bad mouth those very shows that offered them time in the first place. There are four or so really terrible open mic guys who basically can't tell a joke to save their lives, and they go to every open mic known- just causing cesspool like stench when they are up there. These same people are given shots at the other shows- and then when they tank- they spend time on Craigslist, or using Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace dissing the very show that had they only worked enough to be good- could have nurtured their careers. <br /><br />The most recent incident I can think of- there is a guy who is claiming to be an "actor and comedian" because he attended an adult ed. acting class, and showed up at some open mics. He started to come to a show in town fairly regularly, then proceeded to say he was a member of the group he was hanging out with. Not a big deal as the producer gave him coaching on his performance, and he at least pretended to take the direction. No sooner had he made one show, he took over the NAME of the production and then booked himself in another venue- claiming he was a member of that company. So the posters and promos were about that title. The show tanked, and people left it thinking, "Why would I see X, when this is such a bad show?" He kept doing it until someone in the production company caught on and let the producer know. <br /><br />Then, when he realized he wasn't going to ever be part of the regular show, he started posting things on line about the rest of the company and started pimping up this other room he started up on his own. The problem was, he hired some of the worst acts, and still used the production company's name. If that wasn't bad enough, he would send emails to all the cast, letting them know of when HE was running HIS show, and selling it as a Networking opportunity. He borrowed the mailing list of the company- and then had balls to tell people that the show HE was running was the same night as the original company's show. So people got very confused, went to his event, and left, PISSED that they saw crap, had to pay for it, and oh yeah. where were the regulars from the company he took the name of? Oh yeah- they were performing at their weekly gig. <br /><br />This town is REALLY small. It's Las Vegas- Sin City, but it's also made of four primary communities- Henderson, Summerlin, North Las Vegas, and "Strip". If you work with someone in one,you learn about those opportunities, and the town gets VERY small VERY fast. I think I've worked with nearly every other headliner at one point or another, had six stages to play on strip and off, and oh yeah, after 27 years of doing comedy- I kind of know a lot of the names of those who also did road gigs. There are some comedy clubs that opened and claimed they'd be a place for pros who locally worked here, but when the pros figured it was just a scam they re-focused their attention on open mic people, and started classes- getting more money from people than they did in ticket sales. Pros get it, and avoid it. Newbies think it's a real club, so they hang there. <br /><br />Another club that did pretty well at first, moved to a couple of other hotels, finally settling in mid strip. They stopped paying acts after a few newbies said, "Hey, we'll work for free". That split the management of the club up and now there are two versions, the Downtown and Strip. The pros go to the Downtown one. Yet, one room opened up claiming they'd support local acts- hired many pros- and then didn't pay- the women. Men had no problem. They lost credit pretty quickly. This town is small. You can't screw one person and expect it not to be known by the other 50 who do pretty well here. <br /><br />Yet, the open mic guys who start their own rooms- and do so by lies and stealing - somehow think they're immune to it. It isn't so. If you screw people over, you will be found out pretty fast. This is a VERY small community for performers. In LA, you wouldn't last ten minutes because people who are smarter and have done it longer are better at it. But here in Vegas, you last a few weeks- then either press, other comics, or worse- your own people, figure you out. You're done. That's the end of your reputation. If you come to comedy as an actor, and think you're going to act your way into a regular gig- you're fooling yourself. No one buys it. It's been done way too many times by way better talented people. <br /><br />Those of us with integrity, talent, and perseverance will somehow prevail, despite the nasty snakes and leeches. (Yes I like animals, cut that out.) We may not all be rich, or we may not all have TV shows, but we have the knowledge that when the stage is empty for the night- the audience is leaving happy. And a happy audience is the best payment ever. (sort of, but you know what I mean.) If you're in it for any other reason, I feel very sorry for you.cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-34330553937483254552009-10-27T19:43:00.001-07:002009-10-27T20:26:18.739-07:00Writer's Block? PHOOOEY!I'm one of those people that looks at everything and thinks, "what's funny in this?", which is great in traffic jams and annoying during the honeymoon. But it's true. I was at a grocery store today. It should have taken all of 20 minutes to get the four items I needed, (the four food groups for married women- chocolate, maxi pads, alli, and kitty litter). (single women have chocolate, beer, maxipads and kitty litter- they never eat.)<br /><br />As I type, I'm looking at my new, slick Windows 7.0.1.1.1 alphabeta, and know that in a week I'll hate it. But I'm staring at it using the fine eye glasses I purchased at aisle 4, for $7.99, replacing the pair from the 99c Store, that was .25 less strength. I had to buy glasses for the fifth time this year. I had an eye exam and the doctor said, "your eyes have some constricted veins, but mostly, look terrific". I went from having 20-16 vision, (better than a bird), to 30-70. Not really bad enough to pay $350 for fancy-shmancy eye goggles, (nose goggles seem odd, huh?), but great for the 99c Store models. The grocery store carries eye glasses. That amused me for about ten minutes. I decided to see what other "What doesn't belong here" items I could discover. <br /><br />The store is called Gelzers or some such. I think it's a mock of the word Geezers, because mostly old hippies shop here. There is a tye-dye aisle, and four rows of "youth serums". The first thing you see as you enter is a produce section, featuring the fine Vegas treat- Melons. Every one in Vegas talks about melons. Next to these were gourds. Gourds and Melons. How can this be any more Vegas? Right next to these were the "Phillipino foods". So they were telling all who enter, "We cater to those who go to karaoke and deal cards at casinos". I dig that. Dragonfruit, kiwi and lime. What drinks could be made from these? I'll tell you- they had the liquor section directly next to the fruit. What does that say about Vegas? ALL you need is in those areas, apparently. I don't even drink, but I had to check it out. <br /><br />The alcohol started with wines of multiple varieties. Cue, "What doesn't belong here" music. There were garlic wines, coffee wines, pear wines, (pair wines?), and True Blood, which is a Comic-con staple. I'm looking at Ice Wine, and realize, my nose is bleeding. But this is the hippy store- so like this guy like came out and said, like "groovy" and handed me his tye-dye hankerchief. "Hand Your Chief" as he said. Then this gypsy-esque Stevie Nicks woman said, "Wow, that's a vision you're having". I said, "It's the coffee- not any caffeine in tofu-ee." Yes, the coffee shop had tofu coffee. What-the-F?<br /><br />The section next to the drunk tank is the cheese spread. (get it, spread? get it? ahem.) I love goat cheese. Not Feta, not Brie- real squishy, gushy, white sloppy goat cheese, and they had all the varieties I could ever imagine, including Coffee, and Garlic. And of course, this Boston born and bred comedian had to check out the crabs and sea food section. It had a section of Kermit legs, a bit of Sea Bass, and a lot of crab-in-a-bag. I guess hippies dig these things, too. The deli was all Boar's Head. It as RenFaire fare right in front of me. And, right in the middle of the meat piles were two ROUND melons. Yep, Wubbies in the Deli Aisle. (For those who need to use wikipedia to find out what a Wubby means- I feel for you.)<br /><br />Most grocer's carry a sizable number of cereals. There were almost no varieties here. But, if you are into shredded wheat? You found paydirt. That's what it tastes like. This must be a hippy thing. But they had Australian, British, German, American, and even Canadian shredded wheat. It was sort of weird seeing the Indian one- with a cow on the box. That's not how I worship my idols, but I guess Wheaties is our version of that art. I'm all over the Cream of Wheat. All over it like some people like fudge sauce on ice cream. I could eat it at every meal. That or raviolis. They carry an abundance of both. <br /><br />Then came the "What is THAT here for?" moment again. Do you know how many razors there are for just armpits? JUST armpits? I didn't realize it either. Then there were the foot scraping tools. I guess there was a guy who saw his cheese grater on the kitchen table, started rubbing his foot with it, and then patented it to make a gazillion dollars. This gem was in no less than 3/4 of the entire cosmetics aisle. There were sixteen different models of it. Of course I bought one. It's now part of the over 45 food groups. I'm over 45. Yikes. Shh. don't tell anyone. <br /><br />It doesn't matter how healthy a hippy store is supposed to be. There is always an ice cream aisle. Not just a hoodsie/napolitano one, but a huge pile of stuff that fell off the Mr. Whippee Truck. There were Tofu-creams, (ick), Tandoori Creams, (come on?), and stuff that doesn't appear to be edible, and yet somehow sells like crazy in a box. I couldn't even try to make this up, but there was one item shaped like an animal organ, and it had a kid's face on it. Yeah, not even remotely edible. On the outside. I'm sure it sold like hotcakes flavored ice cream. <br /><br />I arrived at the check out line with my boxes of fruit, piles of melons, and waddles of wheats. How could any one ever run out of material, really? All it took was my 20-minute turned 97 minute tour of hippy-ville to get another 10 minute set together. It's always where you live. It's around you. It's part of you. It's the stupid things that life is made up of- and unless you are avoiding it- you got lots to talk about. <br /><br />Hmm, pig ear cream! Love that store!cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-91432553550753607242009-09-29T19:43:00.000-07:002009-09-29T21:12:00.924-07:00Topics, Hacks, and Parallel ThoughtsWe just had our first anniversary of the Short Bus Comics show, and there are always photos going up on the <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/gimpyratcat">image site</a>, as well as the <a href="http://www.shortbuscomics.com">Short Bus site</a>. The show has a stable of some pretty funny people, and many of us play other gigs, too. In a town like Vegas, everyone gets to meet everyone and you get to know the open mikers as well as the headliners who visit smaller venues to try out material. <br /><br />The biggest issue anyone in comedy ever seems to struggle with is: <span style="font-weight:bold;">What do I talk about?</span> For some this question is based on the concept that there are too many topics. But there are others who simply can't figure out the right stream of thought that works with not only who they are, but their voice, their look, their attitude, and their audience. The fact is, if you can talk to anyone about something with passion it will be a great topic for you. <br /><br />The second issue is "Is this Hack?" which should be asked immediately after that question of topic. Why? If you've heard it a million times before, "MJ and kids" "priests and kids" "airplane food" etc etc etc.. then so has each member of your audience and every comic on the stage before and after you. You can probably sit in a circle with 10 comedians and you can each come up with 50 premises that end in the phrase "Michael Jackson". You can probably name at least 10 comedians who don't write their own material, but instead recite jokes that come from books that are older than Vaudeville. For them Abe Lincoln is topical. <br /><br />Hack material is the stuff that everyone knows the punchlines to and those who aren't comedians generally repeat in office parties. It's that stuff that we get sent via the never-ending chain of email humor. Some comedians do nothing but hack material, but do it in such a way that the humor is the spoof of the hackiness of it all. It doesn't mean that the comedian is bad, but it does mean that the material isn't the best. Why use hack material if there are so many topics to play upon? Why repeat street jokes if there are new events every day in the paper? Why think that no one in the audience has heard that one about customer service and computers? Everyone has. Move on to something that's smart, wise, and YOU.<br /><br />This brings up the third point. Parallel thought is a paralyzing tool for comedians afraid to do material that someone else may be doing. New comics and those who haven't had a lot of stage time, (not always the same thing), seem to be so afraid of talking about something that another comedian talks about that s/he'll stop using really good writing. That's just silly. <br /><br />In Las Vegas, for instance, we have a few dozen casinos, a few million tourists, and a majority of the locals have had run-ins with both. To not speak of tourists, casinos, gambling, or anything else related to Sin City means avoiding a treasure trove of stories and jokes. Yet, I've been to stages where new comics are so afraid they've "taken someone else's joke" that they don't even try the material that's unique to them. My view of the tourist is entirely different from that of someone who works dealing cards, or serving food. Another person's view may be different from mine when I spend time in a wheelchair or when I try to park in the few disabled spots. Perspective changes the topics from one person to the next. You can run on the same track, and never step on another foot. <br /><br />Parallel thought is also what gets experienced comics irked at new comics. The idea that a comedian who has five years stage time is supposed to be the ONLY person talking about Topic X, (let's say Billy Mays), is just silly. Other people share experiences, and other people share memories. If a room of comics all did a punchline on Billy Mays Oxy-products, chances are it will be a different one for each person. To get pissed off at a new comic's use of "oxy-moron", is unrealistic and frankly, idiotic. It's like expecting no one else on stage to talk about relationships, illnesses, politicians, news stories, eating habits, travel, and the thousands of other shared experiences we have every day. Human conditions are not owned by any one comedian. Sorry. <br /><br />One of the best run and most successful tour shows at the moment is Kiki Melendez' Hot Tamales tour. She has gathered a group of primarily Latina comedians, added a few others and each voice is completely her own, (and his own for the case of the token male who may grace the stage). Some women talk about parenting, others about dating, others about careers, and still others- well- Jessica Kirson- about idiots in general. (I love JK.) If the comics on the tour were given a restriction, "You can't talk about X because Ms. Thang over there talks about X" then the show would be really dull. Kiki's life has entirely different experiences than Amy Anderson's life, and even if they both speak of womanly worlds- the world is from their own perspectives. <br /><br />But, there are those who don't want to write on topics that inspire any passion. There are those who think that telling one of those jokes from the store bought joke books is a great way to be a comic. There are those who will go to youtube or other sites and learn a comedian's act line for line. These are the people who irk not only seasoned pros, but newbies, too. Comedy works when it is true to the person doing the talking. Bad comedians are those who take the talent of timing, and use it in refining another person's words. The audience may laugh, but no other comic will respect you, and worse, club owners will look at you as a hack. <br /><br />If you find yourself stuck and unable to think of topics that are true to you, take a voice recorder, (use your phone, or computer if you want), and just talk about your day, your family, your job, your school, or anything that inspires you to just babble. Maybe you're pissed off at driving in rush hour. Maybe you are dating way too many nuts. Maybe your pets cost more than your car. Do you really spend that much time looking at the food in your house and then going to the drive-thru? Everyone has something that is funny if it's not forced. Forcing funny is never funny. Knowing topics can help create great routines, and knowing the difference between hack and good writing is the difference between comedy and wasting time on stage. Parallel thought is forgivable, but line-for-line, word-for-word theft is just not, no matter how long you've been on stage or who you are. If you can't write, you can't do comedy. Try political speech writing? Wait, that's comedy.cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-87808300542922165312009-05-30T22:45:00.000-07:002009-05-31T00:53:55.348-07:00Kill or Be Killed<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd5kQOWE3PpsnXwAOBSDwiv834KDuaVgUlTOZ9s1XoBezsXZ7LlT3Cb7nRFLF89g7HAXSI6fWzcdp1bvDm3NzpO8gpvYka4ycuD_q7TWxiGeXRhkSxfGJiNokdHaGvudidVM2_K-jkqA/s1600-h/CIMG1903.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd5kQOWE3PpsnXwAOBSDwiv834KDuaVgUlTOZ9s1XoBezsXZ7LlT3Cb7nRFLF89g7HAXSI6fWzcdp1bvDm3NzpO8gpvYka4ycuD_q7TWxiGeXRhkSxfGJiNokdHaGvudidVM2_K-jkqA/s200/CIMG1903.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341883595677682322" /></a><br />Last week I had the best show in YEARS- the crowd was hot, the material flowed, and man when the crowd is with you- nothing compares. The giggles were humongously flowing in between the big laughs, and its like a potion. You just want more and you just try to give more. I did my 10 and left- and felt like I gave a group of people who arrived some happy times for a little while. Just made me happy to make people happy.<br /><br />That's what's known as Killing. "I killed!" "I slayed em" "I destroyed em" very violent. Really just about the energy of the people around you. It helps when the audience moves right up front, and there are not empty spots in the back. <br /><br />The farther back an audience is from the stage the less likely you're going to have a kick ass show. The reason is simple- laughter is the contagious effect of people finding humor together. They become bonded, common shared experiences- and it's a type of feeling that only the people in the front car of the rollercoaster share. It's the type of feeling that only people who have had the same bad service at the same table every week know about. It's the idea that those who sit nearby are getting things the same way you do. <br /><br />Last week, we had a few solid groups of people who were there to have a great time. They came in with the idea, "We are going to laugh!" And they were on our side from the first moment the emcee hit the stage. That was Great Element Number 1. The second great element was the dispersing of energy from the performers. Some were HIGH energy, others were low energy, but great at delivery. Still others played with the audience. Have a mixed batch gives the audience the feeling of "What's happening next?" Letting them anticipate is half the fun in comedy. It helps that they also were willing to look at the comedians as human beings and not a tv show.. they were interacting with us, and just giving us so much to work with. The comedians on the bill all got along really well, so we supported each other just as much. That makes for a GREAT show. I wish every show could work as that one did because it was not only a joy performing, but it was a joy watching the others on the bill. <br /><br />Flash to this week. We have a different set of people in the crowd. The audiences is from a mixed background, and they were seated in pockets through out the theater. I couldn't quite grasp where one group was, but there were obvious empty seats in sections between each group. One group was the young, fired up college crowd. Another was the seniors out on their first date in ten years. Yet another was a bunch of cops, now retired, with their ladies, taking them to a free show in Vegas. Then there were the friends of comics. Okay, what is it about comics and friends of comics that means "Sit as far back as possible"? It's not a cool habit, and it makes it hard for the show to work right when the only laughs are snickers from people in back.<br /><br />The psychology of an audience works best when the "friends and family" are in front- they know the acts, and pass along the giggles to those who think they are on the inside of the joke. People want to feel included and special. It is NEVER the audience at fault when the entire show is just being viewed as a so-so event. It's a combination. It's the mix of comedians- high energy comics up front, then a "thinker" then a high energy, then a "Regular guy" then a high energy. If you balance the line-up the crowd is happier. <br /><br />I emceed this evening. Usually when I emcee- I get to see the line up ahead of time and suggest changes. I didn't get to see it this time- and the show was filled with a middle section of low energy people. The problem as an emcee is working the audience back into a state of "what's going to happen next?" You don't do 10 minutes, but you may end up having to play with the people in the crowd, a bit, and then nurture their energy up again. That left me with three large slow spots of trying to get energy back up. That isn't a great job for an emcee- but I've done it in the worst case scenarios, and it's been an education by fire for the last 20 or so years in learning what paces the crowd. I start my show as an emcee doing "feeler" material. I play four or five different one liners and see what is getting a response. At this point, I find where the crowd wants to hear their punchlines and can make the rest of the monologue flow accordingly. <br /><br />This was a strange night in that one minute the crowd was eager for silly regional laughs, but then got bored by them in moments, then liked the doofy-hubby material, and laughed at this the longest so it became my call back. With four hours of material to use, I had hoped that something in the repertoire would have pulled them in. Unfortunately- I got a lot of blank stares- one woman who got confused as to why I was disabled, another who was asking about my marriages, and one guy who came up before the show- amped and ready, and then sat in the front row appearing deeply forlorn. <br /><br />One minute they applaud the local material, the next they couldn't care if I had talked about a casino or a shoe horn. I finally made a off-hand reference to a quirky physical condition, got at least a snicker, and then offered awards. Awards were the only things that seemed to keep people interested. That's what I worked with between the sets that had slow to no laughs. It was torture not knowing what to make people giggle with- and more of a torture that when they laughed at one thing, they had no interest in the same material just seconds later. I don't think I ever figured out what was the primary laughter trigger, which has not happened in this many years of emcee work. <br /><br />The last two acts are high energy. One is a prop comic who gets laughs because he basically keeps it to potty humor but the mouth has been washed out with soap. He says "booty", and "pooper" along with "piss" and "Whiz". Not dirty, but the entendres are there. His props are unmistakably R-rated, and his patter is PG. The crowd loved him- and then after three minutes, they treated him like a one trick pony and were just mildly amused. He really IS funny. But, he wasn't feeling it, and the crowd picked up on it. <br /><br />Then came the last comic. It used to be that we would call the last comedian of the night the "headliner" and instead of 6 to 10 he'd get 10-15 minutes. It's standard that no comic on our show carry paper with him on stage. Well, he brings out a notebook every show. It's part of his act, but it also distracts from his material. The man comes out in a rather ornate costume and then compares his Alien life to those of the planet Earth. It works in a crowd that is younger, hipper, and into Science fiction, or at least knows what Science Fiction is. This audience was between the ages of 40 and 80, and got the 1950 jokes, but not much else. It was painful because he also did what I had been doing- learning who the audience was and what they liked. The problem was- they were tired of it by then. And, while every other comic was a few minutes, closed and were done, he went on for a much longer time. The audience was long over before he was. Usually he kills, tonight he kind of wounded. <br /><br />As a comedian it's clearly established, it is NEVER the audience's fault when the room is dead. It can be the layout of the seating. It can be the price of the tickets. It can be the lack of service. It can be the time of night. But, it's never the audience who wants to be there who is at fault when a comedy show isn't working. When every single comment is fighting for laughs and using every direction that is available, it could be a multiple set of reasons. There isn't a "bad audience" there is a bad understanding of that particular audience when the entire show fails. <br /><br />There haven't been very many nights where I've had few laughs. Usually the room is in tears, and I'm happy about it. I hear "oh man", or "Yeah!" or "exactly" but I usually don't hear, "What does that mean?" Most clubs, you get to see a show in the room, and see how they set things up. You get an idea of the people who purchased tickets and those who are regulars. In a new room, you don't have that luxury. It's hit or miss. Last week, we had a spectacular hit. This week we were as close to a full miss as you can get without playing disco music in a metal bar. Once you know and love your audience, they know and love you. <br /><br />There were nights at the Comedy Store when I'd see friends who killed for months on end have a night filled with people who just didn't care. I was in a room when Chris Rock was the only act in front of 4 people. He made 2 of us laugh hysterically, and the other 2 were confused. I've been on the bill when Rosanne (Barr) did a drop in set at the Improv and no one had the time of day for her, and the next night she wiped the floor with the tears of laughter. Dennis Blair got more laughs than Carlin on I don't know HOW many nights, yet Carlin got the HBO specials. <br /><br />It's up to us, as performers, to learn about the demographics in venues, and how to best perform for them. Last week, the crowd was younger, hipper, Latino, and we expected the same this week. But, the casino didn't offer us those same people. It offered us the people who bought time shares. It offered people who were retired. It offered us people who were on buses, visiting a show room. In most circumstances it would have worked just dandy. But, in a new venue, with a new show- it became just a learning experience. We figured out that the energy needs to be tourist oriented, and not too heady. We learned that the audience needs to be seated properly. We learned that the awards didn't really matter. And, we learned who needs to put some energy into their acts. It wasn't much of a failure after all.<br /><br />No go forth and multi-giggle.cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-46759027743066562952009-03-27T21:37:00.000-07:002009-03-27T21:46:59.672-07:00Vegas Shuts Down, I Don'tShort bit today- I'm doing a section of Short Bus Comics called Fuck Censorship. It's an homage to Carlin, Bruce, and the Chitlin' Circuit, as well as to ALL women comedians who just talk about men, weight, and kids- because that's what they're told they know about. I talk about racism, sexism, politics, and the fact that I H-A-T-E the whole Political Correct Bullshit that seems to give people excuse to tell other people what to say, think or do. It's complete and utter censorship. I hate it. I'll do a show about it. So there. <br /><br />Tonight is my second run of the Fuck Censorship material. In my pajamas, with pigtails, carrying a fashion doll, whose name rhymes with Carby, I start to sputter all the nasty things little girls who are good do not say. Love this show. Love writing this show. Love working on this show. <br /><br />Yet, in Vegas- also known as Sin City- where BIGGER shows are shutting down left and right because the ticket prices scare away the people attempting to vacation, where the shows close because they hire 300 union employees to do jobs that 10 non-union people could do. The shows close down because for some stupid reason, the backers don't plan on recessions, depressions, and oh yeah, corporate bankruptcy? Bad business men, bad. (yes, men) It's SIN CITY, and I still get people saying, "I don't know why she has to use THAT language."<br /><br />THAT language is the point of the show. The idea is other people's sensibility doesn't always jibe with the politics, the climate, the response, the reactive method of putting out words. In fact, comedy is always and will always be about saying the things that people dare not say- yet think. <br /><br />And, starting Sunday, a free show happens at Bonkerz at Palace Station. No one knows how long it will last- months or years- but starting Sunday at 8pm, there is a standing invitation to paid comics to do short sets at the club. Well... I know of several comics here who are NOT able to keep their sets short- and I'm guessing they'll burn out. BUT, those of us who have done this for years and years and did I mention years? We'll do okay. I don't know if Fuck Censorship stuff will fly there- it's not the demographic. But I'll still do something fun and easy and freeing. <br /><br />That's what comedy is- letting go, laughing and turning off the "what the other guy says I should say" for a while.cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-49523508880157717172009-03-11T20:40:00.000-07:002009-03-11T20:48:44.737-07:00Wisdom from WendyWendy Liebman gave me permission to post her thoughts on comedy - and I'm adding them here on the blog(s), and to the website. Wendy can be found at her website, <a href="http://www.wendyliebman.com">http://www.wendyliebman.com</a> and facebook, and I'm sure at your local airport hailing the next taxi. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />What I've Learned Doing Stand-up Comedy </span><br />©2009 Wendy Liebman. All rights reserved<br /><br />Figure out your hair and wear what you want.<br /><br />Timing is everything. Time is everything else.<br /><br />Dreams really can come true.<br /><br />Envisioning the future helps create it.<br /><br />Prepare, show up, do your best, and learn for next time.<br /><br />Pray that no one throws anything at your head.<br /><br />Life is what’s right in front of you. Try to live in the moment.<br /><br />Get to know the people who are closest. Respect everybody else. Don’t forget the back.<br /><br />Trust your instincts.<br /><br />Never attack the weak.<br /><br />You are equal to everyone. You are idiosyncratic and unique.<br /><br />Hear what your hecklers and critics have to say.<br /><br />Transform negativity into healthy competition.<br /><br />People communicate through speech and sounds, movement and silence.<br /><br />Be really specific.<br /><br />Know what you want.<br /><br />Choose words carefully.<br /><br />Deliberate (think) and be deliberate (speak and do).<br /><br />This is not a dress rehearsal, but you are a work in progress.<br /><br />Some of the best moments can’t be planned. There is always a bit of luck and magic involved.<br /><br />Know when to be serious.<br /><br />Don’t take the obvious for granted. Remember to breathe and stand up.<br /><br />Artistic license is freedom either to tell the truth or to use your imagination, and to not have to say which is which.<br /><br />Sometimes you’re great. Sometimes you suck. Most of the time you’re fine.<br /><br />Persistence, patience, and listening are the keys.<br /><br />Laugh at yourself while keeping your dignity.<br /><br />Remember that dying is inevitable – hopefully it won’t be tonight. When it happens, it probably won’t be your fault. And it might not be the last time.<br /><br />Hope that everyone dies laughing.<br />--------------------cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-67417431391423841742009-03-11T00:21:00.000-07:002009-03-11T00:27:13.979-07:00Editing V. Censorship..the differencesI posted a similar blog to the Godless Grief myspace page, and to the blogspot page, but I didn't post to the comedy blogs yet, and I think it needs to be said- a huge chasm exists between self-editing for the sake of the audience and self-censorship for a demanding person or persons. Let me explain.<br /><br />I did a show a few weeks back in the daytime, where my audience was predominately in their early to late 80's, (no exaggeration), and it wasn't quite yet noon. I had a show written out, and I looked at the audience and figured out- many comments I would make would simply fall flat for being too demographically slanted to another audience, and more so, too unrelated to the previous shows that happened for this organization. There was a section that I would normally use but a recent guest talked about a similar topic and since I am very aware of that person's take on the subject- I didn't want to beat that horse with a Steven Seagal bluntness that would again, fall flat.<br /><br />Therefore, I decided to use the ideas that I often play to people here in Vegas- and on stages around the country- that stereotypes are the only time people who censor themselves seem to tell the truth. That's an underlying theme for much of my work, and the point I kept making is, "Not that I would censor myself, like I would normally talk about..." then I would go ahead and relay the topic, "But I can't do that here." Okay.. a lot of the crowd got that, laughed, emailed, and even said they hadn't heard it put that way before. Then there was the ONE person- and there always is at least one- who was so rapt in the phrase, "I would normally talk about.." that he missed the idea that I had, in fact, exactly talked about, xyz.<br /><br />He came up to me and said, "I kept wishing you would just say whatever it was you were going to say.." In fact, I had. I had talked about racism. I had talked about sex. I had talked about porn. I had talked about censorship. All the things I said, "I would normally talk about.." I actually DID talk about. This guy never once figured that out. Instead, he spent a full 15 minutes AFTER the event to tell me his take on the issues with comedy, trying to explain to me what is funny, and oh, by the way, actually ended up censoring me by not letting me respond in any way other than nodding at his comments. My guess is that wasn't his intent, and yet that was his action.<br /><br />Every comedian who works more than 5 years- is aware of trying to GET to know the audience you play for before a show. Well, this particular event, I was not only not given that time- but, I was taken aside by at least 3 people prior to entering the performance space just so I could hear a rant, a monologue, or an "explanation" about those particular people's point of views. In fact, they were letting me know exactly who this audience was- they were people who really each had their own reason to present words, and each wanted individualized and PERSONAL attention. I knew from the moment I walked in- there were going to be people who hated me, and others who were right there, by my side, getting all that I was saying.<br /><br />The ones who didn't get me were very vocal afterwords. Again, we had the self-appointed comedy critic who gave me an unending statement worded sixty-five-hundred ways about "but I just wanted to hear a comedian say..". Then, there was the "huff" fellow. He was in a huff from the minute he walked into the building, needed a target to spew his angst of the day on- never even taking into account he was actually being the kind of person he claims he is against- he wanted me to NOT say something EVER again. The something was a comment, a basic throw-away that every comic uses- the guy walked into a room as the sound of a toilet flushed a full 20 minutes after the event started, and YES I made a comment to him about it.<br /><br />I saw one person who looked up at me as if I stabbed to pope in the eye with a fork- and realized, that guy is a boil in this organization and he's always ready to pop off. I nodded in her direction, and she was laughing, but I could see her avoid eye contact with that other guy. So, not three seconds after the house lights are up - he is demanding that I "NEVER EVER talk to ANYONE in the audience like that again." I asked him what he meant- he huffed a bit more, ranting about "You insulted me, you are rude, I was done with you from that minute on." Okay what did I say, then he came out with, "You should NEVER discuss anyone's penis in public I don't care WHO you are." Okay.. so I tried hard not to laugh at the huff-man's point, but I get he was hurt that he was singled out, and I apologized for THAT, but man, to tell someone to never rag on an audience member- at a meeting of Free Thinkers? Uhm. no. Not going to happen. He can remain out of my demographic, thanks. I was later told he is a hair-trigger kind of guy and some days he's a gem and others he's a spoiled egg. Guess which one he was that day? He gave me material!<br /><br />So, the final censorship. When someone says, "I thought you were very funny, and I liked what you said about the religions but don't ever pick on the Jews. It's just not true." I had to have her repeat herself. First, she was interrupting the comedy critic, but to actually say to someone, "yes, you can say what you want, but not about MY people", is just twisted. That is censorship in it's basic form. It's telling someone- You can have opinions as long as they're completely in line with mine. Again, Free thinking organization. Again, I was pointing out the stupidity of stereotypes- and yet... the lady was there as long as comedy critic.<br /><br />Fortunately, a man in his 80's came up and saved me from the "Editing Committee". His name is Del and he calls himself the oldest living male feminist. I just enjoyed chatting with him and he GOT everything I was talking about. In fact, the majority of the people who went apparently liked me enough to ask me to return, and I have dozens of letters from the audience members who didn't feel I missed a mark, or those who said I made them laugh about the silliness of people. I had edited my show for THESE people, and that worked out just fine.<br /><br />There is a substantial difference between those who want to laugh and those who want to dictate what others should be laughing at to begin with. There's a distinct difference between those who listen to comedians and those who go to watch a ballet. In a ballet, you wouldn't hear of someone sitting by the stage, and taking a dancer aside to tell him how he needed to demi-plie in a way that didn't show his jock strap. But, in comedy, this is kind of a job hazard.<br /><br />Someone will come up and tell you a joke and follow it with, "oh and you can use it if you want". Others will come up to you and let you know how THEY would tell your jokes. But, when you turn around asking if they are comedians, "Oh no, I could never do that." So don't tell me how to do it. I ask advice from people I've seen on stage and who have seen my show- they have work experience in my field. I would never think to go to a nursing station and tell an RN "Yeah you should probably use a 3mm needle and then wrap surgical stockings on anyone who says they're republican." Why? What would I do that for? It makes no sense. Yet, it's exactly the thinking people have when they try to "help" a comedian. In fact, they're censoring. Telling someone what to say and how to say it is the ultimate form of censorship when its relative to the whole "free speech" thing.<br /><br />A comedian knows what is working by hearing laughs. It's the principle. It's the payoff. It's the interest, too. When my porn stuff wasn't working, I moved on to the other stuff. The TV stuff worked just fine. The show was okay- not my worst, not my best, but for a day show- it's one of the better ones- despite the self appointed editors.<br /><br />I'm editing a new show.. about people who censor comedians. It's called "fuck censorship".cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-88669546059548801322009-02-18T18:32:00.000-08:002009-02-18T20:21:48.596-08:00Classes, Competitions and ContestsThe C words of comedy-- Classes, Competitions and Contests- they're supposed to bring you fame and fortune far sooner than if you had years of stage time, but is that the case? If you go to a comedy club and see "As Seen on Last Comic Standing" you may find yourself watching the middle act, not the headliner. Seems as if the reality of being a comedian who can handle all audiences is an issue for those who shortcut. It's not like karaoke, ala American Idol, where you can practice in front of your bathroom mirror and grandparents. A good comic knows that the audience on Wednesday may rock, and one on Friday may look at you as if you had a penis growing out of your forehead. <br /><br />The Hollywood dream of comedians finding a producer in the audience worshiping every word, and begging her to write the next major sitcom, is a rare and more often unrealized one. Yet, if you go to the clubs in Los Angeles you'll find a lot of very pretty people ACTING like comedians. Some hire writers. Others creatively borrow from other real writers, and discover that dialing it in isn't working. When they wake up and see that their not getting movie role offers, the clubs have suffered the consequences. No one wants to see unfunny comedy. The glut of comedians in the 80's produced hundreds of dead clubs. <br /><br />So comics avoided the clubs that seemed to put more prettier-than-life people on mics. They searched for other ways to get noticed. One started a show called "Last Comic Standing" which was supposed to be Real World meets Survivor meets American Idol. Comedians were going to out-funny each other, and get network notice. Well, it sort of backfired when the reality HIT the reality TV circuit- and it was discovered that the networks were pushing judges to select the pretty-made-for-tv-actor-comics over those who had the chops, and the skills, to keep an audience laughing. The show failed comedians the way the comedy clubs in LA were failing- not dealing with the idea that people wanted to laugh with a comedy writer/performer, rather than see an idealized version of what a comedian should be. That fails both the comedian and the audience- and yet thrives because pretty people who fail make great TV.<br /><br />There is a comedy class in nearly every major city in the United States. Do comedy classes help people? Yes. You will get personalized guidance, and you will get tips on how to handle stage situations from those who have been through the trenches. People who fail at classes are those who assume that material will suddenly appear out of nowhere, who don't put the writing first, and those who assume that fame is part of the comedy equation. It's not. The three parts of comedy are Performance, Writing, Audience Reaction. If you can't ace all three, you will never be a comedian. The classes help in getting people past obstacles involving all three. But, they only work if the performer is willing to put effort into it. The comedian will save months of stage time if s/he immerses into the process rather than just does the class, and nothing else. You have to perform, you have to be on stage, you have to write. And you have to fail. <br /><br />This is the competition corner of the blog- Competition is great for those who are better performers under pressure. For those who pepper themselves with the tiniest bit of self doubt- you are not someone who will do well in a competitive environment. It only takes one moment of "I wonder if that's working?" to fall flat on your face. If you feel doubt, the audience and judges feel it, too. And, even if you win a competition, you still have to be consistent to get gigs. Some people are great competitors but don't bring the funny EVERY time on stage. To succeed you need that edge- the bookers will see if you aren't getting a response, and you can't rely on one competition to make your career. Yet, that seems to be the option for those who really aren't ready to be career comedians.<br /><br />The short cuts only work if you have the chops to begin with and certainly only work with those who are going to be putting out the effort well after those experiences end. There are pretty people in comedy. There are mediocre stars. There are those who have taken the shorter routes, but still managed to keep their career going. Dedication to yourself, your idea of funny, and writing will get you farther. The ability for those to appreciate your efforts ensure your comedic future. Quitting doesn't do anything to improve your chances of being the next big star. And, sometimes a shear comprehension of bombing well does.cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-61091654535488480362009-01-27T22:51:00.000-08:002009-01-27T22:52:50.976-08:00What an Emcee Can do to Suck the Room DryThe community in comedy is small. Someone you work with at a coffee house open mic this week may be the big star on some sitcom next week. Case in point, Jim Carrey was working at Thrifty Drug Store in Los Angeles WHILE he was on In Living Color because he had been burned by the Hollywood Promise before and wanted to ensure Janey, his daughter, and his wife Melissa, (this was a while ago...wayyyy before Holly and McCarthy), had food on the table and a place to live. Melissa was waitressing, and I remember meeting the little kid -with her dad a few times in front of the Comedy Store.<br /><br />The place has an open area, where there's an outdoor bar, and on any day you'd find Eddie Griffin chatting with Bruce Baum chatting with Emo chatting with just a newbie from Boston hoping to make it big on the stage someday. The place kept everyone on one level- a casual, real, warm, we do this too place. No one was a star, yet everyone was there, and it was time when John Pinnette was just as new as anyone else, even though he was a star in his New England home. We all were. All the people who worked that club during the late 80's had a modicum of success. We had road gigs and college gigs and late night bar gigs under our belts.<br /><br />And, we each had stories. We had stories about the worst emcees who had ever walked onto a stage, taken the air right out of the room, and still work in the clubs we left behind us. We had stories about the people who like to use the word "comedy" to describe what they provide, despite the truth- the long winded, uninteresting, street-joke spewing, ego stroking nonsense that never amounts to anything other noise. It was a relief to see that the most seasoned and the newest members of the club each shared one common bond- Bad Emcees ruin shows, and they are our common enemy.<br /><br />The MC is the Master of Ceremonies. Some are expected to monitor the time of comics, some are supposed to ensure that the club is in communication with the comedian. Some are supposed to set up lights, run sound, and even ensure there are comped drinks to VIPs.<br /><br />The nightmare emcee doesn't understand the role first of all. S/he has an idea that the show is secondary to their needs. An emcee isn't supposed to take a show and turn it into "Love the Emcee, screw our guests this evening."<br /><br />S/he isn't supposed to do twenty minutes, then give the comedians on the bill less time than a commercial break so he can continue his next twenty minutes. Then, s/he closes the show with his "real set" which ends up being another 30 minutes of ranting, without any obvious signs of humor in any of it.<br /><br />The Producer Emcee usually is someone who has a bit more stage experience, but I've been in shows when the Producer Emcee is someone who hasn't even done comedy before but thought his friends thought he was funny, so he figured he would talk a restaurant into letting him host a show. The ego is enormous and the talent is just dismal. If s/he gets that the audience isn't giving a great response s/he will keep his intros short, and let the comics do their jobs. However, the bad emcee will suck the room dry from all laughs, be obviously uncomfortable with material or public speaking, and use stage time to humiliate and annoy audiences and comics alike. They are poison.<br /><br />There is a road gig I took with three other people who happen to be from Boston. The guy emceeing kept trying to imitate JFK, and expected us to prattle on about being Democrats and eating Clam Chowder. That was his perception of Boston. None of us had the plan of playing to his whims. The guy showed another aspect of crappy emcees. He had no idea of the comics he was introducing, put assumptions in his intros, and just sounded like an idiot. He used his scintilating understanding of the English language to see how many cuss words he could fit into one intro. Pleasant. He also hit on every single female in the audience, so many left by the time the headliner made it to the stage.<br /><br />Emcees who heckle are fairly common, whether we want them to or not. They'll scream out punchlines, make wisecracks about waitresses, or worse, they'll simply be just as obnoxious as the most ardent loud mouth. The excuse is usually, "I thought you could take it!" Or they'll sit in another part of the room, with a friend, or a member of the staff, ignore what's going on stage-wise, and talk sport scores, sex acts, and manners of cleaning bodily fluids from the floor of the club.<br /><br />The ones who drink nonstop, during a show, and then show their inability to handle liquor as the night progresses are embarrassing to themselves and the club. They certainly aren't funnier, and often they just come across as frat boys pretending to be comics. If they're so stoned they forget to speak words, have drunk friends in the audience, and only talk to them, or if they are dogging the bartender for not providing enough liquor they're space wasters, and should be replaced. (That is, unless of course, the club caters to stoned, drunk frat boys who can't speak words, mostly books paranoid schizophrenic comics, hires only waiters who are selling drugs, and runs between the hours of 3 and 5 in the morning. THEN it's cool.)<br /><br />When an emcee has solid material, it's a joy. You are part of a show that is warmed up by someone who has comedy chops. The audience can tell, and the rest of the line- up knows, the show will work out great. If a comic has a bad set, a good emcee usually can rewarm a room. If there are problems with an unruly crowd, a great emcee knows how to shut down the worst and call security on the seriously vile. And, a great emcee will make a cursory attempt at learning about your previous work and material so as not to do similar stuff, or not to trample on your act by introing with your punchlines.<br /><br />But there are times when the emcee thinks it would be okay to use YOUR material to introduce you. That's bad. Nothing is worse than hearing the crowd zone out during the second tellling of your tale.<br /><br />There are times when Crappy Emcee will use your material after you have left the club- and do it badly. That's not only bad for you, but bad for any other comic who has to work with you later, and didn't know the lines were lifted. Not good.<br /><br />There are times when an emcee uses a microphone badly- getting it wet with beer, or sucking on it, or another nasty trick that not only causes tech issues, but health issues. One woman in some state, we'll call Texas, thought it was funny to wipe her running nose on the mic. Ugh.<br /><br />There are times when an emcee will prattle on about how badly he is doing- so much so that it's not funny, and begins to sound like a forced group therapy session. The audience doesn't want a life story they want to laugh. They're trying to get their own lives out of their head for a while- and laugh. That's why we do this, not to work out what our bosses said to us that day that made us really sad. (Well, unless there's a lot of material there..then...you know...use it.)<br /><br />And, a really bad emcee will con a club into thinking he has years of experience and is a funny person, when really his ego trip is just wasting everyone's time. If the guy claims he has a radio show, but it turns out to be a podcast, and the podcast is produced via his cell phone- run. This is not the person you want. And, if he says he's really funny, make sure you get written proof of this from legitimate press, comments on his online videos, and something other than a business card to prove his experience. Again, the comedy community is very small. We all know what happens in one town soon gets talked about in the next. Maybe not always by the most famous comic on the tour, but a bad emcee will be the reason other comics won't do a club date again.<br /><br />To all who are great emcees- we talk about that too. You are what makes a show worthwhile for many comedians. Thanks to the good emcees good rooms exist. You are the heroes of the club, and all of us- comics, audiences, bookers, and club owners know it. Thank you.cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-25942659518907288652009-01-27T13:14:00.000-08:002009-01-27T13:23:39.132-08:00A Comic Walks into An Atheist Convention<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9S18COIRCCcI2v6emZib_6ATRTaBCQky8uDbnjBZcgR5BqqRn9pnMbP4P66NVJh3WmAajKzSPqLx1drPOMJUA7NtdFg_SWZV55hpUlLl3o7DNsFxC1KrZ7ITgu8M0Y2ZY8PGnz86TbQ/s1600-h/31.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 131px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9S18COIRCCcI2v6emZib_6ATRTaBCQky8uDbnjBZcgR5BqqRn9pnMbP4P66NVJh3WmAajKzSPqLx1drPOMJUA7NtdFg_SWZV55hpUlLl3o7DNsFxC1KrZ7ITgu8M0Y2ZY8PGnz86TbQ/s200/31.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296087220100284530" /></a><br />On February 22, 2009, the Atheists United hosts their monthly get-together at 11am, at the Center for Inquiry. Comedian and author, Cathe B. Jones is the featured entertainer, providing comedy relief, and discussing her books, Godless Grief, and My Doctor Is Killing Me. The event is free, and the day show also serves as a luncheon. Cathe's humor is described as vibrantly witty, thought provoking, and emphatically not politically correct, taking on the topics of atheism, racism, and political satire.<br /><br />Led by indomitable Bobbie Kirkhart, the Atheists United (a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization) has a three-fold mission:<br /><br />* To promote atheism through education and outreach;<br />* To promote the First Amendment and the separation of government and religion;<br />* To create and support a vibrant atheist community.<br />AU has a full schedule of events, often inviting vibrant speakers, and highly evolved discussions. The meeting on February 22nd is held at Center for Inquiry-West, 4773 Hollywood Blvd, Los Angles CA. This general meeting is Free and open to the public, and begins at 11am.<br /><br />Kirkhart is currently the president AU, but also led organizations including Atheist Alliance International, Secular Coalition for America, and serves as board member to Humanist Studies and Darwin Day Celebrations. Her first article published nationally was "I Protest: A Santa Claus God", and was written by a woman who was devoutly protestant. Later, she learned through the efforts of her work as social worker, that her world wasn't created by any religion or gods, and since 1983, she has been a member of AU. As public speaker, author, and leader she continues to inspire atheists here and abroad with her wit, fiery sense of purpose, and ability to reach even the most ardent of the religious right.<br /><br /><br />Cathe B. Jones has performed stand-up comedy in three countries, since 1981. She has three shows in Las Vegas, performing several times a week. As an Atheist Author, Cathe works to inspire other atheists to proactively promote the idea that kindness and free thought should be practiced in all aspects of life. As a writer, her themes are action-based and humanitarian based, serving advocacy pieces. Godless Grief is the first book written about loss for and from the atheist perspective. My Doctor Is Killing Me is a patient advocacy hand book for those who have not been heard by the medical community. Her husband, Mike Jones, is the music director for Penn & Teller, and they reside in Las Vegas with their pets and pianos.cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-85623817053951352012009-01-19T14:54:00.000-08:002009-01-19T14:58:05.166-08:00Test Run at Fitz Room- ROCKED!Tanyalee Davis, personal hero, awesome gal, and all around kick-ass comedian and I had a show at the Fitzgerald Casino ("Fitz of Laughter") room run by Kevin Burke, Roland Witt, and John Bentham. Kelly Hunt, and up and coming impressionist comic, whom I met through the Short Bus Comics show, served as the opener- and she also, rocked. <br /><br />We were test-running the room for a show we're putting up starting in February. Kevin Burke, aka Defending the Caveman -Vegas, has worked 7 nights a week since he's lived here, and finally had an idea- he should, could, and may be able to have a night off if he found competent comedians who could take the show over for him. His Caveman show runs at the Excalibur, recently moved from The Goldent Nugget. After his grunting walk-through the world of a couple-psyche, he trapsed over to the Fitgerald Casino, to pick up on the stage that certainly gives a great space for comedy. He's helped build an audience, and certainly, John and Roland are capable stage managers and room managers.<span class="fullpost"><br /><br />I've known Kevin for a lot of years. For a majority of the time, we never even met in person- it was through our comedy that we're friends. I got to meet a few dozen great funny folk through an online newsgroup, Alt.comedy.standup. Some of us were seasoned pros, others were newbies, and still others were fans who always wanted to be comedians, but were afraid to try. Some of my Space and Facebook friendships are through that very source. It's been a great way to network for jobs- Steve Marmel, the Nickelodeon Darling, was a regular in one of my rooms in Orange County, for instance. I did a regular stint in a club in Sacramento, and San Francisco through another comic. We shared war stories, Tribble Run stories, and of course... Vegas stories.<br /><br />So, years later, Kevin and I are both in the same town, and we're hanging out a bit more. Friends do that. We have him over for dinner, and superbowl, and that stuff. But we haven't worked together at all. He called me and said, "I need, I think, to have a break, do you want to book the room on Sunday nights so you can bring your crazies to the stage?" My crazies are the Short Bus Comics, and friends in town- and of course, YES. I would.<br /><br />Kelly Hunt and I have been planning out ideas to bring another "Women in Comedy" show to the area. It was perfect timing. Tanyalee Davis is in town, Kelly and I are prepped from the months of working Short Bus, and it would be a great run to try for the first time whilst Kevin enjoyed a show, for one of the the first times since he's been here, that was on his day off. We could do a one-night of the Women show, and if it worked out, and they liked us enough, we could start February, a new weekly show.<br /><br />We got to the venue, and Roland was generous, offering us his skills as a warm-up. He did fine, and Kelly took to the floor. She's got a few bugs to work out, but they're minor, and her set was ably done- lots of laughs, and the audience got her impressions. I went up next, and the crowd- unsure as to what to make of the ADHD style seemed to really appreciate the energy, and laughed lots. Lots. Lots and lots. Too much! I went over time! I never go over time! But it was happening! They were a great group- laughing in spots I had hoped were funny, and laughing at the riffing. Loved those people. I intro'd Tanyalee for the first time since I think- the show we did at the Greek Isles. I honestly don't remember if that was it, or if it was another show. Regardless... she gave me what to say, I said it.<br /><br />The crowd adored her. She'd already done a few nights in the room, and the club BUILT her a stage. Whilst Kelly and I worked around it, the audience wasn't quite sure what to make of it. We gave no hints. She took to the stage and the crowd went nuts. She did her set wonderfully- with the facial expressions only Tanyalee can do. She used the word "Midget" and one lady just about fell out of her chair. Fellow comedians Greg Stevens and his friend, Chris "CJ" Jones, (yeah, I thought it was funny too), were laughing so hard, they bounced out of their seats a few times.<br /><br />Afterwards, we went to the doorway, so she could sell some DVD's, and we could hear what the crowds were saying. It was a hit. We did a great job, and the room was happy. The opener was happy. Everyone seemed delighted, so we're definitely going to have a lot of fun with the new room. I still haven't emailed Kevin yet to see how his day off went... I'm guessing great.<br /><br />More to come!</span>cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-8125395209928278342009-01-09T15:06:00.000-08:002009-01-19T15:10:05.142-08:002009 Las Vegas Comedy News....For all who are contacting me regarding jobs in Las Vegas- if you live here now, please PM me as there is a new club opening up at the Palace Station. The chain, Bonkerz is working to hire local comics, not just the east coast/LA bunch, and they've invited us to the grand opening on Jan. 14th. If you are in Las Vegas, and want to be included on the guest list, please PM me with your name.<br /><br />I am NOT booking this club, and I am NOT managing this club. It's just a way to support and assist the local LIVE COMEDY COMMUNITY. If you are going to the opening, the owners and booking agents WILL be there, and will take DVD's and promo materials from comics. You can also leave your promotional materials with the club during nights it's open and the right people will see you.<br /><br />For the locals who were there when it was Laff Trax, LA Comedy Cabaret, et al- I don't know if the stage is different or if the club will be in a different room. The issues with the stage primarily was the height. You tower over the audience, and it's also not wheelchair accessible, but the techs are good about helping people get up there. The station casinos generally have good sound people.<br /><br />Other news- Improv-Vegas has classes starting up. There's some great Second City folks involved, and starting this session, there's stand up classes. Okay- for the nay-sayers- it's not a "write a joke" class- it's a performance class. You learn to work, onstage, with a mic, with audiences, and with a little confidence. You learn about booking, road work, and getting college gigs. And you learn about speaking in public without feeling like a dork. I know, I'm teaching it.<br /><br />You can sign up for classes by visitinghttp://improv-vegas.com/Classes.html<br />and calling the school<br /><br />Onyx Theater news- The Short Bus Comics show is monthly for now but we're also hoping for another venue to add more shows. We had a near full house Friday night, and filmed some promo materials. Roman the Serial comic books the show, and you can reach him by emailing VegasComedians@yahoo.com or visiting ShortBusComics.com<br /><br />The venue I'm working for- it's still not running yet... and I don't have any news. As soon as I'm aware of what we're doing , I'll post it here. The Fitgerald's room now has Kevin Burke nightly. Tanyalee Davis did a run there, and would be a great regular for the stage. I also know that there is a new Women in Comedy show starting up, with Kelly Hunt, me, and several other locals to the area. More on that as we know more.<br /><br />Happy New Year, y'all- keep laughing-cheaper than gas, and better for you in the long run.<br /><br />cbjcathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-37460879364635651932008-12-04T15:08:00.000-08:002009-01-19T15:09:31.131-08:00Aunt Jeanne, Final Sleep December 4, 2008She Got Me Back into Stand-up<br /><br />When I got the call from my Dad, the first response I had was "wow", but in my head, I was thinking, "Wow-how are all of the women in Nana B's family going to sit in one room to talk and still get through in one single day."<br /><br />For the last few months, she had been trying to desensitize us to her illness. She was talking about accepting that she wasn't going to be around, and that wasn't easy to hear. But she made sure she said something every time we talked to her to remind us- we'd have to live without her and she was really going to be okay with the idea. She was really ready for this. She was the one who understood that every day was another day closer for the end for her. And , she wanted to make sure we heard her laughing as much as possible.<br /><br />The day she talked to me about her illness for the first time, she was excited about getting to buy wigs- like a movie star. She wondered if she'd get too skinny. Like a movie star. She was awe inspiring- and much smarter than any movie star. Even now I can't picture her without her big old smile, saying, 'Yeah, I know it, I know it'.<br /><br />The last time we talked she was out of breath, and had just a few seconds in her. But she talked about seeing Frannie's grandbaby, and how excited she was that she was going to go to Vegas, and maybe even have a drink. Jeanne was looking forward to seeing everyone. As usual, she hid how much she was hurting, and didn't want to talk about it too much. She made a quick joke about being too skinny and that she was thinking of Burger King. But she couldn't talk very long and that was the last time we chatted.<br /><br />I have several of her phone messages. She called on my birthday, on Ricky's birthday, and even on Lincoln's birthday. We talked at least once every couple of weeks, but I never felt like we talked enough. On Thanksgiving, by the time we got home from a friend's house- it was too late that day, and I put off calling her because I worried she would be out of breath. I figured- she'll be here in a week, I'll say hello in person. I can almost hear her in my mind saying, "How did that work out?" and laughing about it. The last message I had was her telling me that she decided to go visit people- and she was giggling about it. She was just thrilled that she was going to have what she called, her "Big Bang Party" and was eager to see everyone.<br /><br />Her family was the reason she stayed around so long. She loved her grand-kids and was sad about being sick around them. She joked with me a lot about Ricky and their lives as kids. I won't repeat a word. But I'll smile a little more around my dad, now. That was her magic. She wanted to laugh, and she was really great at it. That's what her legacy really is- and that's why I think everyone should think of that smiling face and not the illness that took her. That's all I can see now. That's what she gave me- and it was worth a billion dollars, six countries, and a bottle of cola. Maybe a Whopper, Jr., too.<br /><br /><br />Thanks to the comedians in Comed-o-Therapy, she was able to have a night where she laughed that BIG laugh, wore that movie star hat, and even was surrounded by family. It was a lot of her in that room- and a lot of laughter that she needed. I can't thank the comedians enough. The next show will be in her memory rather than her honor. And we will carry her laughter.cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-4993586139000701302008-11-19T15:12:00.000-08:002009-01-19T15:13:11.739-08:00Wanda Sykes Gay and AwesomeYou know, the comedy community, as large as it is, is pretty small. There are dozens of comics I know who are in the closet, still, in 2008. Or, they just don't put their sexual orientation in the act, because it simply doesn't matter to the stories they tell. Wanda Sykes is one of the few people on the planet whom I am aware of as a lesbian comedian who just didn't have any reason to talk about it in the show- and now she is.<br /><br />She has become an OUT performer because of the recent election issues, and she made that perfectly clear in her Las Vegas show this past week. I can think of women who are on stage and television now who just won't make that announcement because even today, in 2008, it affects their careers. That makes me heartbroken.<br /><br />The world I grew up in was very tolerant of gay folks, and my dad worked as an electrician on a club called Buddies in Boston, so I got to meet people like Divine when I was still pretty young. I was never told "gay" was abnormal. I was never told "gay" was bad.<br /><br />A friend of mine has a daughter who was in the playground with two boys who were ranting- at age 7 and 6- that gay people were not going to heaven. Fortunately I don't believe in heaven, but if I did, I know it couldn't exist without my gay pals. But, this little girl took a stand and told the boys that LOVE is what makes a good parent. She was awesome for saying so. And, her mom is awesome for letting her daughter KNOW that people are who they are- genetics do what they do- and love people regardless.<br /><br />Wanda came out to a crowd who only knew her from Tracey Ullman's shows, or the Wanda Sykes Show. They didn't see her at any weddings, nor did they see her talking about Prop 8 on television. They just were there to see a woman who makes them laugh- and they didn't judge her announcement as a betrayal, nor did they leave the show. They DO NOT CARE because she is a funny person. She is a PERSON, and she's a funny one. Period. No one struck her with lightening for telling the truth, and no one started to hate her comedy just because she isn't heterosexual, (nor white, nor male). She is a funny lady.<br /><br />If only we could have been that smart during the elections this year. If only there were enough smart people saying "I may not want to vote for people because it all seems the same- but I will vote for the Bills and Laws that matter to me." There weren't smart people who said, "Wait, YES means I don't want rights? THAT is silly." There weren't enough smart people who said, "EVERYONE matters in this country, no matter their orientation, age, country of origin, and ability to physically do things." I don't like the word "race" because I always thought we were the Human Race, and homo sapien doesn't split up into genus of homo sapien hetoro, and homo sapien homo. It just genetically reads Homo Sapien.<br /><br />Wanda made a few hundred people laugh. She makes a few thousand people laugh. And, she is now admittedly part of another minority. Not just female. Not just black. Just gay. That's how some people will see her now. And that is not what comedy is about. Comedy is about the common tragedy we all face, and the ability to see the absurdity throughout it all. It is about the common issues we have as human beings. Sykes knows this, and now she faces those who are unclear that we are people first, and titles second. (or tenth, or thirtieth)<br /><br />It was a blast walking up and down the Pro-rights Rally in Las Vegas yesterday. (Pictures at picasaweb.google.com/gimpyratcat, under short bus in Las Vegas Rally.) It was a blast seeing people who care about people. It was a blast being one of those people. And, I'm honored to know that Wanda Sykes, comedian, is now Wanda Sykes, GAY comedian, because she just opened up her common issues to the group of folks fighting hard to be heard. She is heard. That's a huge step forward.<br /><br />If only we could all be so honest.cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936850129838567288.post-59666695142479628502008-10-29T15:15:00.000-07:002009-01-19T15:16:57.633-08:00Small but worth it....This last week I was in Los Angeles for I THINK my last time this year. I was there mostly for my pals Sharon and Pat- wedding time. ROCKING Mrs. Maybrier is in Maui at the moment, and alliteration aside, it was an amazingly cool wedding from the GIGANTIC 5600 carat glass diamond to the gondola ride, to Rush as the "Bride and Groom Entry" music. Just rocked..and yes, this gimped danced to "Dead Man's Party" like it was 1985. (86? 88? whichever...)<br /><br />There were two comedy nights during the visit. The first was in a town near where I spent some interesting years. Montebello is kind of the gateway to Pasadena, or the last stop before you hit Cerritos. Either way, it's a nice town with a strong Latino heritage, and some down-home shops on the main drag. One of the restaurants features a comedy night, hosted by Erik Schulte, (not sure did I spell that right? I think so..). In either case, I used to hang out there when I was living in South Pasadena, in search of thrift stores and enchiladas.<br /><br />The Wild Coyote doesn't seem like a place that would a. host comedy and 2. be in a Latino town. The walls held posters of Marilyn Monroe, (marylina monrovia?) and Megadeth- as one of the members of stated band plays there now and again. There is a small 5 x 5 stage in the corner by the restaurant side of the bar, and it has probably one of the crappiest sound systems..appropriate for Megadeth I guess... and one of the nicest sound guys ever. The waitress is somewhat absent minded, but her legs make up for it..as that seemed to distract many people still waiting for liquid as I type. The tables were pretty far from the stage- about 18 feet or so- and there was a dance floor, so there was kind of a weird effect with the crowd.<br /><br />The line-up included six or seven people..about the right size for a room that small... and the majority of these were students at El Cerritos City College or somesuch who are taking- no lie- stand-up comedy classes. That made for a GREAT place to play new material, and test out bits. The only drawback..the sound was so bizarre that it was hard to tell if the crowd was able to hear..and there were running televisions..including a few giant screens. So while the Phillies were clobbering the Rays, I was on stage hoping I wasn't the only one hearing the feedback into the microphone. I was., apparently..as the video doesn't have any of the weird bleed audio that I was hearing.<br /><br />Erik does a good job of hosting- he doesn't do too much material in between sets, and he is generous with time to the comics. He also listens to the people on stage, and seems to really enjoy the job. That makes for a good emcee and a great host. I can't tell you how many times I've been in rooms where the guy/gal decides it's okay to do 10 minutes between each act- driving both comics and audience members crazy. He was supportive of the new group, and kind to us old-timers.<br /><br />There was one guy left when Grace and I had to leave..neither of us leaves a show before the last guy, usually, but the last guy was running really, really long. His name was on the posters, so I am sure that had a lot more to do with it- and he was making the fatal comedy mistake of YELLING INTO A MICROPHONE, which you don't need to do, especially in a room that seats about 40 people. As a result..I never got to thank Erik, but it was a worthy room for the drive, and I recommend it to people who want to test material, or play in a bar for crowd work.<br /><br />Friday, Grace and I were also booked at another room together. It's great having a comedy-buddy to play with, because you get to see how the act progresses, and can help each other with notes to punch up punchlines. This time we hit Mar Vista, and joined David Corrado at his Friday Night show in St. Bede's basement.<br /><br />This room is quite intimate. There is a general atmosphere of "try stuff out, we'll love you", and there are probably only 12 people around- which means you are fairly driven to play to your friends. We got there, and David played some pre-show music from the 50's which inspired regular visitors, a couple well into their oh- 200's? Okay maybe 80's... to dance their butts off. They were ADORABLE- she was doing her best Busby Berkely, and he was Fred Astairing. Nice warm start.<br /><br />Last time I was there, I tried a bit that hadn't been on any stage before. Nor since. But, this time, it was standard jokes, testing things out for use on Onyx stages. It worked well, and having Grace to bounce off of during the event only made it better. Dana Snow was there again, and unfortunately wasn't feeling all that well. I did get to meet a few other comics I hadn't had a chance to chat with before- including Rosie Tran.<br /><br />It's unusual for a room to book more than one female a night- having three was a blast. We had our own approaches, and none of us used any of the same topics. We each had a casual demeanor and it makes for a supportive, happy show. Rosie has an infectious smile, and even when her jokes didn't go over...very rarely..she was so charming it made up for it. There were four guys up that night too... and they each had different appeal. All stayed the whole show, and all were very fun to watch.<br /><br />David is also a wonderful host- he pays attention to all of the people he books, and is very good about watching time. I am one of those who times her act before hand so I figured- I had six minutes, I did six minutes. But David will let people do more time if they want it- and he notices when people struggle with too much time. So many emcees don't get that.<br /><br />If you're in the LA area and want to do some work-out rooms, these two are on my "yep, they are great" list. You won't get the laughs you would in a standard comedy club, but you'll understand your own material better. If you want to use a camera to catch how you're doing, that's easy. The hosts are cordial and the audiences are happy to see you.cathescomiczhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17762923347425644230noreply@blogger.com0