I'm one of those people that looks at everything and thinks, "what's funny in this?", which is great in traffic jams and annoying during the honeymoon. But it's true. I was at a grocery store today. It should have taken all of 20 minutes to get the four items I needed, (the four food groups for married women- chocolate, maxi pads, alli, and kitty litter). (single women have chocolate, beer, maxipads and kitty litter- they never eat.)
As I type, I'm looking at my new, slick Windows 7.0.1.1.1 alphabeta, and know that in a week I'll hate it. But I'm staring at it using the fine eye glasses I purchased at aisle 4, for $7.99, replacing the pair from the 99c Store, that was .25 less strength. I had to buy glasses for the fifth time this year. I had an eye exam and the doctor said, "your eyes have some constricted veins, but mostly, look terrific". I went from having 20-16 vision, (better than a bird), to 30-70. Not really bad enough to pay $350 for fancy-shmancy eye goggles, (nose goggles seem odd, huh?), but great for the 99c Store models. The grocery store carries eye glasses. That amused me for about ten minutes. I decided to see what other "What doesn't belong here" items I could discover.
The store is called Gelzers or some such. I think it's a mock of the word Geezers, because mostly old hippies shop here. There is a tye-dye aisle, and four rows of "youth serums". The first thing you see as you enter is a produce section, featuring the fine Vegas treat- Melons. Every one in Vegas talks about melons. Next to these were gourds. Gourds and Melons. How can this be any more Vegas? Right next to these were the "Phillipino foods". So they were telling all who enter, "We cater to those who go to karaoke and deal cards at casinos". I dig that. Dragonfruit, kiwi and lime. What drinks could be made from these? I'll tell you- they had the liquor section directly next to the fruit. What does that say about Vegas? ALL you need is in those areas, apparently. I don't even drink, but I had to check it out.
The alcohol started with wines of multiple varieties. Cue, "What doesn't belong here" music. There were garlic wines, coffee wines, pear wines, (pair wines?), and True Blood, which is a Comic-con staple. I'm looking at Ice Wine, and realize, my nose is bleeding. But this is the hippy store- so like this guy like came out and said, like "groovy" and handed me his tye-dye hankerchief. "Hand Your Chief" as he said. Then this gypsy-esque Stevie Nicks woman said, "Wow, that's a vision you're having". I said, "It's the coffee- not any caffeine in tofu-ee." Yes, the coffee shop had tofu coffee. What-the-F?
The section next to the drunk tank is the cheese spread. (get it, spread? get it? ahem.) I love goat cheese. Not Feta, not Brie- real squishy, gushy, white sloppy goat cheese, and they had all the varieties I could ever imagine, including Coffee, and Garlic. And of course, this Boston born and bred comedian had to check out the crabs and sea food section. It had a section of Kermit legs, a bit of Sea Bass, and a lot of crab-in-a-bag. I guess hippies dig these things, too. The deli was all Boar's Head. It as RenFaire fare right in front of me. And, right in the middle of the meat piles were two ROUND melons. Yep, Wubbies in the Deli Aisle. (For those who need to use wikipedia to find out what a Wubby means- I feel for you.)
Most grocer's carry a sizable number of cereals. There were almost no varieties here. But, if you are into shredded wheat? You found paydirt. That's what it tastes like. This must be a hippy thing. But they had Australian, British, German, American, and even Canadian shredded wheat. It was sort of weird seeing the Indian one- with a cow on the box. That's not how I worship my idols, but I guess Wheaties is our version of that art. I'm all over the Cream of Wheat. All over it like some people like fudge sauce on ice cream. I could eat it at every meal. That or raviolis. They carry an abundance of both.
Then came the "What is THAT here for?" moment again. Do you know how many razors there are for just armpits? JUST armpits? I didn't realize it either. Then there were the foot scraping tools. I guess there was a guy who saw his cheese grater on the kitchen table, started rubbing his foot with it, and then patented it to make a gazillion dollars. This gem was in no less than 3/4 of the entire cosmetics aisle. There were sixteen different models of it. Of course I bought one. It's now part of the over 45 food groups. I'm over 45. Yikes. Shh. don't tell anyone.
It doesn't matter how healthy a hippy store is supposed to be. There is always an ice cream aisle. Not just a hoodsie/napolitano one, but a huge pile of stuff that fell off the Mr. Whippee Truck. There were Tofu-creams, (ick), Tandoori Creams, (come on?), and stuff that doesn't appear to be edible, and yet somehow sells like crazy in a box. I couldn't even try to make this up, but there was one item shaped like an animal organ, and it had a kid's face on it. Yeah, not even remotely edible. On the outside. I'm sure it sold like hotcakes flavored ice cream.
I arrived at the check out line with my boxes of fruit, piles of melons, and waddles of wheats. How could any one ever run out of material, really? All it took was my 20-minute turned 97 minute tour of hippy-ville to get another 10 minute set together. It's always where you live. It's around you. It's part of you. It's the stupid things that life is made up of- and unless you are avoiding it- you got lots to talk about.
Hmm, pig ear cream! Love that store!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Topics, Hacks, and Parallel Thoughts
We just had our first anniversary of the Short Bus Comics show, and there are always photos going up on the image site, as well as the Short Bus site. The show has a stable of some pretty funny people, and many of us play other gigs, too. In a town like Vegas, everyone gets to meet everyone and you get to know the open mikers as well as the headliners who visit smaller venues to try out material.
The biggest issue anyone in comedy ever seems to struggle with is: What do I talk about? For some this question is based on the concept that there are too many topics. But there are others who simply can't figure out the right stream of thought that works with not only who they are, but their voice, their look, their attitude, and their audience. The fact is, if you can talk to anyone about something with passion it will be a great topic for you.
The second issue is "Is this Hack?" which should be asked immediately after that question of topic. Why? If you've heard it a million times before, "MJ and kids" "priests and kids" "airplane food" etc etc etc.. then so has each member of your audience and every comic on the stage before and after you. You can probably sit in a circle with 10 comedians and you can each come up with 50 premises that end in the phrase "Michael Jackson". You can probably name at least 10 comedians who don't write their own material, but instead recite jokes that come from books that are older than Vaudeville. For them Abe Lincoln is topical.
Hack material is the stuff that everyone knows the punchlines to and those who aren't comedians generally repeat in office parties. It's that stuff that we get sent via the never-ending chain of email humor. Some comedians do nothing but hack material, but do it in such a way that the humor is the spoof of the hackiness of it all. It doesn't mean that the comedian is bad, but it does mean that the material isn't the best. Why use hack material if there are so many topics to play upon? Why repeat street jokes if there are new events every day in the paper? Why think that no one in the audience has heard that one about customer service and computers? Everyone has. Move on to something that's smart, wise, and YOU.
This brings up the third point. Parallel thought is a paralyzing tool for comedians afraid to do material that someone else may be doing. New comics and those who haven't had a lot of stage time, (not always the same thing), seem to be so afraid of talking about something that another comedian talks about that s/he'll stop using really good writing. That's just silly.
In Las Vegas, for instance, we have a few dozen casinos, a few million tourists, and a majority of the locals have had run-ins with both. To not speak of tourists, casinos, gambling, or anything else related to Sin City means avoiding a treasure trove of stories and jokes. Yet, I've been to stages where new comics are so afraid they've "taken someone else's joke" that they don't even try the material that's unique to them. My view of the tourist is entirely different from that of someone who works dealing cards, or serving food. Another person's view may be different from mine when I spend time in a wheelchair or when I try to park in the few disabled spots. Perspective changes the topics from one person to the next. You can run on the same track, and never step on another foot.
Parallel thought is also what gets experienced comics irked at new comics. The idea that a comedian who has five years stage time is supposed to be the ONLY person talking about Topic X, (let's say Billy Mays), is just silly. Other people share experiences, and other people share memories. If a room of comics all did a punchline on Billy Mays Oxy-products, chances are it will be a different one for each person. To get pissed off at a new comic's use of "oxy-moron", is unrealistic and frankly, idiotic. It's like expecting no one else on stage to talk about relationships, illnesses, politicians, news stories, eating habits, travel, and the thousands of other shared experiences we have every day. Human conditions are not owned by any one comedian. Sorry.
One of the best run and most successful tour shows at the moment is Kiki Melendez' Hot Tamales tour. She has gathered a group of primarily Latina comedians, added a few others and each voice is completely her own, (and his own for the case of the token male who may grace the stage). Some women talk about parenting, others about dating, others about careers, and still others- well- Jessica Kirson- about idiots in general. (I love JK.) If the comics on the tour were given a restriction, "You can't talk about X because Ms. Thang over there talks about X" then the show would be really dull. Kiki's life has entirely different experiences than Amy Anderson's life, and even if they both speak of womanly worlds- the world is from their own perspectives.
But, there are those who don't want to write on topics that inspire any passion. There are those who think that telling one of those jokes from the store bought joke books is a great way to be a comic. There are those who will go to youtube or other sites and learn a comedian's act line for line. These are the people who irk not only seasoned pros, but newbies, too. Comedy works when it is true to the person doing the talking. Bad comedians are those who take the talent of timing, and use it in refining another person's words. The audience may laugh, but no other comic will respect you, and worse, club owners will look at you as a hack.
If you find yourself stuck and unable to think of topics that are true to you, take a voice recorder, (use your phone, or computer if you want), and just talk about your day, your family, your job, your school, or anything that inspires you to just babble. Maybe you're pissed off at driving in rush hour. Maybe you are dating way too many nuts. Maybe your pets cost more than your car. Do you really spend that much time looking at the food in your house and then going to the drive-thru? Everyone has something that is funny if it's not forced. Forcing funny is never funny. Knowing topics can help create great routines, and knowing the difference between hack and good writing is the difference between comedy and wasting time on stage. Parallel thought is forgivable, but line-for-line, word-for-word theft is just not, no matter how long you've been on stage or who you are. If you can't write, you can't do comedy. Try political speech writing? Wait, that's comedy.
The biggest issue anyone in comedy ever seems to struggle with is: What do I talk about? For some this question is based on the concept that there are too many topics. But there are others who simply can't figure out the right stream of thought that works with not only who they are, but their voice, their look, their attitude, and their audience. The fact is, if you can talk to anyone about something with passion it will be a great topic for you.
The second issue is "Is this Hack?" which should be asked immediately after that question of topic. Why? If you've heard it a million times before, "MJ and kids" "priests and kids" "airplane food" etc etc etc.. then so has each member of your audience and every comic on the stage before and after you. You can probably sit in a circle with 10 comedians and you can each come up with 50 premises that end in the phrase "Michael Jackson". You can probably name at least 10 comedians who don't write their own material, but instead recite jokes that come from books that are older than Vaudeville. For them Abe Lincoln is topical.
Hack material is the stuff that everyone knows the punchlines to and those who aren't comedians generally repeat in office parties. It's that stuff that we get sent via the never-ending chain of email humor. Some comedians do nothing but hack material, but do it in such a way that the humor is the spoof of the hackiness of it all. It doesn't mean that the comedian is bad, but it does mean that the material isn't the best. Why use hack material if there are so many topics to play upon? Why repeat street jokes if there are new events every day in the paper? Why think that no one in the audience has heard that one about customer service and computers? Everyone has. Move on to something that's smart, wise, and YOU.
This brings up the third point. Parallel thought is a paralyzing tool for comedians afraid to do material that someone else may be doing. New comics and those who haven't had a lot of stage time, (not always the same thing), seem to be so afraid of talking about something that another comedian talks about that s/he'll stop using really good writing. That's just silly.
In Las Vegas, for instance, we have a few dozen casinos, a few million tourists, and a majority of the locals have had run-ins with both. To not speak of tourists, casinos, gambling, or anything else related to Sin City means avoiding a treasure trove of stories and jokes. Yet, I've been to stages where new comics are so afraid they've "taken someone else's joke" that they don't even try the material that's unique to them. My view of the tourist is entirely different from that of someone who works dealing cards, or serving food. Another person's view may be different from mine when I spend time in a wheelchair or when I try to park in the few disabled spots. Perspective changes the topics from one person to the next. You can run on the same track, and never step on another foot.
Parallel thought is also what gets experienced comics irked at new comics. The idea that a comedian who has five years stage time is supposed to be the ONLY person talking about Topic X, (let's say Billy Mays), is just silly. Other people share experiences, and other people share memories. If a room of comics all did a punchline on Billy Mays Oxy-products, chances are it will be a different one for each person. To get pissed off at a new comic's use of "oxy-moron", is unrealistic and frankly, idiotic. It's like expecting no one else on stage to talk about relationships, illnesses, politicians, news stories, eating habits, travel, and the thousands of other shared experiences we have every day. Human conditions are not owned by any one comedian. Sorry.
One of the best run and most successful tour shows at the moment is Kiki Melendez' Hot Tamales tour. She has gathered a group of primarily Latina comedians, added a few others and each voice is completely her own, (and his own for the case of the token male who may grace the stage). Some women talk about parenting, others about dating, others about careers, and still others- well- Jessica Kirson- about idiots in general. (I love JK.) If the comics on the tour were given a restriction, "You can't talk about X because Ms. Thang over there talks about X" then the show would be really dull. Kiki's life has entirely different experiences than Amy Anderson's life, and even if they both speak of womanly worlds- the world is from their own perspectives.
But, there are those who don't want to write on topics that inspire any passion. There are those who think that telling one of those jokes from the store bought joke books is a great way to be a comic. There are those who will go to youtube or other sites and learn a comedian's act line for line. These are the people who irk not only seasoned pros, but newbies, too. Comedy works when it is true to the person doing the talking. Bad comedians are those who take the talent of timing, and use it in refining another person's words. The audience may laugh, but no other comic will respect you, and worse, club owners will look at you as a hack.
If you find yourself stuck and unable to think of topics that are true to you, take a voice recorder, (use your phone, or computer if you want), and just talk about your day, your family, your job, your school, or anything that inspires you to just babble. Maybe you're pissed off at driving in rush hour. Maybe you are dating way too many nuts. Maybe your pets cost more than your car. Do you really spend that much time looking at the food in your house and then going to the drive-thru? Everyone has something that is funny if it's not forced. Forcing funny is never funny. Knowing topics can help create great routines, and knowing the difference between hack and good writing is the difference between comedy and wasting time on stage. Parallel thought is forgivable, but line-for-line, word-for-word theft is just not, no matter how long you've been on stage or who you are. If you can't write, you can't do comedy. Try political speech writing? Wait, that's comedy.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Kill or Be Killed
Last week I had the best show in YEARS- the crowd was hot, the material flowed, and man when the crowd is with you- nothing compares. The giggles were humongously flowing in between the big laughs, and its like a potion. You just want more and you just try to give more. I did my 10 and left- and felt like I gave a group of people who arrived some happy times for a little while. Just made me happy to make people happy.
That's what's known as Killing. "I killed!" "I slayed em" "I destroyed em" very violent. Really just about the energy of the people around you. It helps when the audience moves right up front, and there are not empty spots in the back.
The farther back an audience is from the stage the less likely you're going to have a kick ass show. The reason is simple- laughter is the contagious effect of people finding humor together. They become bonded, common shared experiences- and it's a type of feeling that only the people in the front car of the rollercoaster share. It's the type of feeling that only people who have had the same bad service at the same table every week know about. It's the idea that those who sit nearby are getting things the same way you do.
Last week, we had a few solid groups of people who were there to have a great time. They came in with the idea, "We are going to laugh!" And they were on our side from the first moment the emcee hit the stage. That was Great Element Number 1. The second great element was the dispersing of energy from the performers. Some were HIGH energy, others were low energy, but great at delivery. Still others played with the audience. Have a mixed batch gives the audience the feeling of "What's happening next?" Letting them anticipate is half the fun in comedy. It helps that they also were willing to look at the comedians as human beings and not a tv show.. they were interacting with us, and just giving us so much to work with. The comedians on the bill all got along really well, so we supported each other just as much. That makes for a GREAT show. I wish every show could work as that one did because it was not only a joy performing, but it was a joy watching the others on the bill.
Flash to this week. We have a different set of people in the crowd. The audiences is from a mixed background, and they were seated in pockets through out the theater. I couldn't quite grasp where one group was, but there were obvious empty seats in sections between each group. One group was the young, fired up college crowd. Another was the seniors out on their first date in ten years. Yet another was a bunch of cops, now retired, with their ladies, taking them to a free show in Vegas. Then there were the friends of comics. Okay, what is it about comics and friends of comics that means "Sit as far back as possible"? It's not a cool habit, and it makes it hard for the show to work right when the only laughs are snickers from people in back.
The psychology of an audience works best when the "friends and family" are in front- they know the acts, and pass along the giggles to those who think they are on the inside of the joke. People want to feel included and special. It is NEVER the audience at fault when the entire show is just being viewed as a so-so event. It's a combination. It's the mix of comedians- high energy comics up front, then a "thinker" then a high energy, then a "Regular guy" then a high energy. If you balance the line-up the crowd is happier.
I emceed this evening. Usually when I emcee- I get to see the line up ahead of time and suggest changes. I didn't get to see it this time- and the show was filled with a middle section of low energy people. The problem as an emcee is working the audience back into a state of "what's going to happen next?" You don't do 10 minutes, but you may end up having to play with the people in the crowd, a bit, and then nurture their energy up again. That left me with three large slow spots of trying to get energy back up. That isn't a great job for an emcee- but I've done it in the worst case scenarios, and it's been an education by fire for the last 20 or so years in learning what paces the crowd. I start my show as an emcee doing "feeler" material. I play four or five different one liners and see what is getting a response. At this point, I find where the crowd wants to hear their punchlines and can make the rest of the monologue flow accordingly.
This was a strange night in that one minute the crowd was eager for silly regional laughs, but then got bored by them in moments, then liked the doofy-hubby material, and laughed at this the longest so it became my call back. With four hours of material to use, I had hoped that something in the repertoire would have pulled them in. Unfortunately- I got a lot of blank stares- one woman who got confused as to why I was disabled, another who was asking about my marriages, and one guy who came up before the show- amped and ready, and then sat in the front row appearing deeply forlorn.
One minute they applaud the local material, the next they couldn't care if I had talked about a casino or a shoe horn. I finally made a off-hand reference to a quirky physical condition, got at least a snicker, and then offered awards. Awards were the only things that seemed to keep people interested. That's what I worked with between the sets that had slow to no laughs. It was torture not knowing what to make people giggle with- and more of a torture that when they laughed at one thing, they had no interest in the same material just seconds later. I don't think I ever figured out what was the primary laughter trigger, which has not happened in this many years of emcee work.
The last two acts are high energy. One is a prop comic who gets laughs because he basically keeps it to potty humor but the mouth has been washed out with soap. He says "booty", and "pooper" along with "piss" and "Whiz". Not dirty, but the entendres are there. His props are unmistakably R-rated, and his patter is PG. The crowd loved him- and then after three minutes, they treated him like a one trick pony and were just mildly amused. He really IS funny. But, he wasn't feeling it, and the crowd picked up on it.
Then came the last comic. It used to be that we would call the last comedian of the night the "headliner" and instead of 6 to 10 he'd get 10-15 minutes. It's standard that no comic on our show carry paper with him on stage. Well, he brings out a notebook every show. It's part of his act, but it also distracts from his material. The man comes out in a rather ornate costume and then compares his Alien life to those of the planet Earth. It works in a crowd that is younger, hipper, and into Science fiction, or at least knows what Science Fiction is. This audience was between the ages of 40 and 80, and got the 1950 jokes, but not much else. It was painful because he also did what I had been doing- learning who the audience was and what they liked. The problem was- they were tired of it by then. And, while every other comic was a few minutes, closed and were done, he went on for a much longer time. The audience was long over before he was. Usually he kills, tonight he kind of wounded.
As a comedian it's clearly established, it is NEVER the audience's fault when the room is dead. It can be the layout of the seating. It can be the price of the tickets. It can be the lack of service. It can be the time of night. But, it's never the audience who wants to be there who is at fault when a comedy show isn't working. When every single comment is fighting for laughs and using every direction that is available, it could be a multiple set of reasons. There isn't a "bad audience" there is a bad understanding of that particular audience when the entire show fails.
There haven't been very many nights where I've had few laughs. Usually the room is in tears, and I'm happy about it. I hear "oh man", or "Yeah!" or "exactly" but I usually don't hear, "What does that mean?" Most clubs, you get to see a show in the room, and see how they set things up. You get an idea of the people who purchased tickets and those who are regulars. In a new room, you don't have that luxury. It's hit or miss. Last week, we had a spectacular hit. This week we were as close to a full miss as you can get without playing disco music in a metal bar. Once you know and love your audience, they know and love you.
There were nights at the Comedy Store when I'd see friends who killed for months on end have a night filled with people who just didn't care. I was in a room when Chris Rock was the only act in front of 4 people. He made 2 of us laugh hysterically, and the other 2 were confused. I've been on the bill when Rosanne (Barr) did a drop in set at the Improv and no one had the time of day for her, and the next night she wiped the floor with the tears of laughter. Dennis Blair got more laughs than Carlin on I don't know HOW many nights, yet Carlin got the HBO specials.
It's up to us, as performers, to learn about the demographics in venues, and how to best perform for them. Last week, the crowd was younger, hipper, Latino, and we expected the same this week. But, the casino didn't offer us those same people. It offered us the people who bought time shares. It offered people who were retired. It offered us people who were on buses, visiting a show room. In most circumstances it would have worked just dandy. But, in a new venue, with a new show- it became just a learning experience. We figured out that the energy needs to be tourist oriented, and not too heady. We learned that the audience needs to be seated properly. We learned that the awards didn't really matter. And, we learned who needs to put some energy into their acts. It wasn't much of a failure after all.
No go forth and multi-giggle.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Vegas Shuts Down, I Don't
Short bit today- I'm doing a section of Short Bus Comics called Fuck Censorship. It's an homage to Carlin, Bruce, and the Chitlin' Circuit, as well as to ALL women comedians who just talk about men, weight, and kids- because that's what they're told they know about. I talk about racism, sexism, politics, and the fact that I H-A-T-E the whole Political Correct Bullshit that seems to give people excuse to tell other people what to say, think or do. It's complete and utter censorship. I hate it. I'll do a show about it. So there.
Tonight is my second run of the Fuck Censorship material. In my pajamas, with pigtails, carrying a fashion doll, whose name rhymes with Carby, I start to sputter all the nasty things little girls who are good do not say. Love this show. Love writing this show. Love working on this show.
Yet, in Vegas- also known as Sin City- where BIGGER shows are shutting down left and right because the ticket prices scare away the people attempting to vacation, where the shows close because they hire 300 union employees to do jobs that 10 non-union people could do. The shows close down because for some stupid reason, the backers don't plan on recessions, depressions, and oh yeah, corporate bankruptcy? Bad business men, bad. (yes, men) It's SIN CITY, and I still get people saying, "I don't know why she has to use THAT language."
THAT language is the point of the show. The idea is other people's sensibility doesn't always jibe with the politics, the climate, the response, the reactive method of putting out words. In fact, comedy is always and will always be about saying the things that people dare not say- yet think.
And, starting Sunday, a free show happens at Bonkerz at Palace Station. No one knows how long it will last- months or years- but starting Sunday at 8pm, there is a standing invitation to paid comics to do short sets at the club. Well... I know of several comics here who are NOT able to keep their sets short- and I'm guessing they'll burn out. BUT, those of us who have done this for years and years and did I mention years? We'll do okay. I don't know if Fuck Censorship stuff will fly there- it's not the demographic. But I'll still do something fun and easy and freeing.
That's what comedy is- letting go, laughing and turning off the "what the other guy says I should say" for a while.
Tonight is my second run of the Fuck Censorship material. In my pajamas, with pigtails, carrying a fashion doll, whose name rhymes with Carby, I start to sputter all the nasty things little girls who are good do not say. Love this show. Love writing this show. Love working on this show.
Yet, in Vegas- also known as Sin City- where BIGGER shows are shutting down left and right because the ticket prices scare away the people attempting to vacation, where the shows close because they hire 300 union employees to do jobs that 10 non-union people could do. The shows close down because for some stupid reason, the backers don't plan on recessions, depressions, and oh yeah, corporate bankruptcy? Bad business men, bad. (yes, men) It's SIN CITY, and I still get people saying, "I don't know why she has to use THAT language."
THAT language is the point of the show. The idea is other people's sensibility doesn't always jibe with the politics, the climate, the response, the reactive method of putting out words. In fact, comedy is always and will always be about saying the things that people dare not say- yet think.
And, starting Sunday, a free show happens at Bonkerz at Palace Station. No one knows how long it will last- months or years- but starting Sunday at 8pm, there is a standing invitation to paid comics to do short sets at the club. Well... I know of several comics here who are NOT able to keep their sets short- and I'm guessing they'll burn out. BUT, those of us who have done this for years and years and did I mention years? We'll do okay. I don't know if Fuck Censorship stuff will fly there- it's not the demographic. But I'll still do something fun and easy and freeing.
That's what comedy is- letting go, laughing and turning off the "what the other guy says I should say" for a while.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Wisdom from Wendy
Wendy Liebman gave me permission to post her thoughts on comedy - and I'm adding them here on the blog(s), and to the website. Wendy can be found at her website, http://www.wendyliebman.com and facebook, and I'm sure at your local airport hailing the next taxi.
What I've Learned Doing Stand-up Comedy
©2009 Wendy Liebman. All rights reserved
Figure out your hair and wear what you want.
Timing is everything. Time is everything else.
Dreams really can come true.
Envisioning the future helps create it.
Prepare, show up, do your best, and learn for next time.
Pray that no one throws anything at your head.
Life is what’s right in front of you. Try to live in the moment.
Get to know the people who are closest. Respect everybody else. Don’t forget the back.
Trust your instincts.
Never attack the weak.
You are equal to everyone. You are idiosyncratic and unique.
Hear what your hecklers and critics have to say.
Transform negativity into healthy competition.
People communicate through speech and sounds, movement and silence.
Be really specific.
Know what you want.
Choose words carefully.
Deliberate (think) and be deliberate (speak and do).
This is not a dress rehearsal, but you are a work in progress.
Some of the best moments can’t be planned. There is always a bit of luck and magic involved.
Know when to be serious.
Don’t take the obvious for granted. Remember to breathe and stand up.
Artistic license is freedom either to tell the truth or to use your imagination, and to not have to say which is which.
Sometimes you’re great. Sometimes you suck. Most of the time you’re fine.
Persistence, patience, and listening are the keys.
Laugh at yourself while keeping your dignity.
Remember that dying is inevitable – hopefully it won’t be tonight. When it happens, it probably won’t be your fault. And it might not be the last time.
Hope that everyone dies laughing.
--------------------
What I've Learned Doing Stand-up Comedy
©2009 Wendy Liebman. All rights reserved
Figure out your hair and wear what you want.
Timing is everything. Time is everything else.
Dreams really can come true.
Envisioning the future helps create it.
Prepare, show up, do your best, and learn for next time.
Pray that no one throws anything at your head.
Life is what’s right in front of you. Try to live in the moment.
Get to know the people who are closest. Respect everybody else. Don’t forget the back.
Trust your instincts.
Never attack the weak.
You are equal to everyone. You are idiosyncratic and unique.
Hear what your hecklers and critics have to say.
Transform negativity into healthy competition.
People communicate through speech and sounds, movement and silence.
Be really specific.
Know what you want.
Choose words carefully.
Deliberate (think) and be deliberate (speak and do).
This is not a dress rehearsal, but you are a work in progress.
Some of the best moments can’t be planned. There is always a bit of luck and magic involved.
Know when to be serious.
Don’t take the obvious for granted. Remember to breathe and stand up.
Artistic license is freedom either to tell the truth or to use your imagination, and to not have to say which is which.
Sometimes you’re great. Sometimes you suck. Most of the time you’re fine.
Persistence, patience, and listening are the keys.
Laugh at yourself while keeping your dignity.
Remember that dying is inevitable – hopefully it won’t be tonight. When it happens, it probably won’t be your fault. And it might not be the last time.
Hope that everyone dies laughing.
--------------------
Editing V. Censorship..the differences
I posted a similar blog to the Godless Grief myspace page, and to the blogspot page, but I didn't post to the comedy blogs yet, and I think it needs to be said- a huge chasm exists between self-editing for the sake of the audience and self-censorship for a demanding person or persons. Let me explain.
I did a show a few weeks back in the daytime, where my audience was predominately in their early to late 80's, (no exaggeration), and it wasn't quite yet noon. I had a show written out, and I looked at the audience and figured out- many comments I would make would simply fall flat for being too demographically slanted to another audience, and more so, too unrelated to the previous shows that happened for this organization. There was a section that I would normally use but a recent guest talked about a similar topic and since I am very aware of that person's take on the subject- I didn't want to beat that horse with a Steven Seagal bluntness that would again, fall flat.
Therefore, I decided to use the ideas that I often play to people here in Vegas- and on stages around the country- that stereotypes are the only time people who censor themselves seem to tell the truth. That's an underlying theme for much of my work, and the point I kept making is, "Not that I would censor myself, like I would normally talk about..." then I would go ahead and relay the topic, "But I can't do that here." Okay.. a lot of the crowd got that, laughed, emailed, and even said they hadn't heard it put that way before. Then there was the ONE person- and there always is at least one- who was so rapt in the phrase, "I would normally talk about.." that he missed the idea that I had, in fact, exactly talked about, xyz.
He came up to me and said, "I kept wishing you would just say whatever it was you were going to say.." In fact, I had. I had talked about racism. I had talked about sex. I had talked about porn. I had talked about censorship. All the things I said, "I would normally talk about.." I actually DID talk about. This guy never once figured that out. Instead, he spent a full 15 minutes AFTER the event to tell me his take on the issues with comedy, trying to explain to me what is funny, and oh, by the way, actually ended up censoring me by not letting me respond in any way other than nodding at his comments. My guess is that wasn't his intent, and yet that was his action.
Every comedian who works more than 5 years- is aware of trying to GET to know the audience you play for before a show. Well, this particular event, I was not only not given that time- but, I was taken aside by at least 3 people prior to entering the performance space just so I could hear a rant, a monologue, or an "explanation" about those particular people's point of views. In fact, they were letting me know exactly who this audience was- they were people who really each had their own reason to present words, and each wanted individualized and PERSONAL attention. I knew from the moment I walked in- there were going to be people who hated me, and others who were right there, by my side, getting all that I was saying.
The ones who didn't get me were very vocal afterwords. Again, we had the self-appointed comedy critic who gave me an unending statement worded sixty-five-hundred ways about "but I just wanted to hear a comedian say..". Then, there was the "huff" fellow. He was in a huff from the minute he walked into the building, needed a target to spew his angst of the day on- never even taking into account he was actually being the kind of person he claims he is against- he wanted me to NOT say something EVER again. The something was a comment, a basic throw-away that every comic uses- the guy walked into a room as the sound of a toilet flushed a full 20 minutes after the event started, and YES I made a comment to him about it.
I saw one person who looked up at me as if I stabbed to pope in the eye with a fork- and realized, that guy is a boil in this organization and he's always ready to pop off. I nodded in her direction, and she was laughing, but I could see her avoid eye contact with that other guy. So, not three seconds after the house lights are up - he is demanding that I "NEVER EVER talk to ANYONE in the audience like that again." I asked him what he meant- he huffed a bit more, ranting about "You insulted me, you are rude, I was done with you from that minute on." Okay what did I say, then he came out with, "You should NEVER discuss anyone's penis in public I don't care WHO you are." Okay.. so I tried hard not to laugh at the huff-man's point, but I get he was hurt that he was singled out, and I apologized for THAT, but man, to tell someone to never rag on an audience member- at a meeting of Free Thinkers? Uhm. no. Not going to happen. He can remain out of my demographic, thanks. I was later told he is a hair-trigger kind of guy and some days he's a gem and others he's a spoiled egg. Guess which one he was that day? He gave me material!
So, the final censorship. When someone says, "I thought you were very funny, and I liked what you said about the religions but don't ever pick on the Jews. It's just not true." I had to have her repeat herself. First, she was interrupting the comedy critic, but to actually say to someone, "yes, you can say what you want, but not about MY people", is just twisted. That is censorship in it's basic form. It's telling someone- You can have opinions as long as they're completely in line with mine. Again, Free thinking organization. Again, I was pointing out the stupidity of stereotypes- and yet... the lady was there as long as comedy critic.
Fortunately, a man in his 80's came up and saved me from the "Editing Committee". His name is Del and he calls himself the oldest living male feminist. I just enjoyed chatting with him and he GOT everything I was talking about. In fact, the majority of the people who went apparently liked me enough to ask me to return, and I have dozens of letters from the audience members who didn't feel I missed a mark, or those who said I made them laugh about the silliness of people. I had edited my show for THESE people, and that worked out just fine.
There is a substantial difference between those who want to laugh and those who want to dictate what others should be laughing at to begin with. There's a distinct difference between those who listen to comedians and those who go to watch a ballet. In a ballet, you wouldn't hear of someone sitting by the stage, and taking a dancer aside to tell him how he needed to demi-plie in a way that didn't show his jock strap. But, in comedy, this is kind of a job hazard.
Someone will come up and tell you a joke and follow it with, "oh and you can use it if you want". Others will come up to you and let you know how THEY would tell your jokes. But, when you turn around asking if they are comedians, "Oh no, I could never do that." So don't tell me how to do it. I ask advice from people I've seen on stage and who have seen my show- they have work experience in my field. I would never think to go to a nursing station and tell an RN "Yeah you should probably use a 3mm needle and then wrap surgical stockings on anyone who says they're republican." Why? What would I do that for? It makes no sense. Yet, it's exactly the thinking people have when they try to "help" a comedian. In fact, they're censoring. Telling someone what to say and how to say it is the ultimate form of censorship when its relative to the whole "free speech" thing.
A comedian knows what is working by hearing laughs. It's the principle. It's the payoff. It's the interest, too. When my porn stuff wasn't working, I moved on to the other stuff. The TV stuff worked just fine. The show was okay- not my worst, not my best, but for a day show- it's one of the better ones- despite the self appointed editors.
I'm editing a new show.. about people who censor comedians. It's called "fuck censorship".
I did a show a few weeks back in the daytime, where my audience was predominately in their early to late 80's, (no exaggeration), and it wasn't quite yet noon. I had a show written out, and I looked at the audience and figured out- many comments I would make would simply fall flat for being too demographically slanted to another audience, and more so, too unrelated to the previous shows that happened for this organization. There was a section that I would normally use but a recent guest talked about a similar topic and since I am very aware of that person's take on the subject- I didn't want to beat that horse with a Steven Seagal bluntness that would again, fall flat.
Therefore, I decided to use the ideas that I often play to people here in Vegas- and on stages around the country- that stereotypes are the only time people who censor themselves seem to tell the truth. That's an underlying theme for much of my work, and the point I kept making is, "Not that I would censor myself, like I would normally talk about..." then I would go ahead and relay the topic, "But I can't do that here." Okay.. a lot of the crowd got that, laughed, emailed, and even said they hadn't heard it put that way before. Then there was the ONE person- and there always is at least one- who was so rapt in the phrase, "I would normally talk about.." that he missed the idea that I had, in fact, exactly talked about, xyz.
He came up to me and said, "I kept wishing you would just say whatever it was you were going to say.." In fact, I had. I had talked about racism. I had talked about sex. I had talked about porn. I had talked about censorship. All the things I said, "I would normally talk about.." I actually DID talk about. This guy never once figured that out. Instead, he spent a full 15 minutes AFTER the event to tell me his take on the issues with comedy, trying to explain to me what is funny, and oh, by the way, actually ended up censoring me by not letting me respond in any way other than nodding at his comments. My guess is that wasn't his intent, and yet that was his action.
Every comedian who works more than 5 years- is aware of trying to GET to know the audience you play for before a show. Well, this particular event, I was not only not given that time- but, I was taken aside by at least 3 people prior to entering the performance space just so I could hear a rant, a monologue, or an "explanation" about those particular people's point of views. In fact, they were letting me know exactly who this audience was- they were people who really each had their own reason to present words, and each wanted individualized and PERSONAL attention. I knew from the moment I walked in- there were going to be people who hated me, and others who were right there, by my side, getting all that I was saying.
The ones who didn't get me were very vocal afterwords. Again, we had the self-appointed comedy critic who gave me an unending statement worded sixty-five-hundred ways about "but I just wanted to hear a comedian say..". Then, there was the "huff" fellow. He was in a huff from the minute he walked into the building, needed a target to spew his angst of the day on- never even taking into account he was actually being the kind of person he claims he is against- he wanted me to NOT say something EVER again. The something was a comment, a basic throw-away that every comic uses- the guy walked into a room as the sound of a toilet flushed a full 20 minutes after the event started, and YES I made a comment to him about it.
I saw one person who looked up at me as if I stabbed to pope in the eye with a fork- and realized, that guy is a boil in this organization and he's always ready to pop off. I nodded in her direction, and she was laughing, but I could see her avoid eye contact with that other guy. So, not three seconds after the house lights are up - he is demanding that I "NEVER EVER talk to ANYONE in the audience like that again." I asked him what he meant- he huffed a bit more, ranting about "You insulted me, you are rude, I was done with you from that minute on." Okay what did I say, then he came out with, "You should NEVER discuss anyone's penis in public I don't care WHO you are." Okay.. so I tried hard not to laugh at the huff-man's point, but I get he was hurt that he was singled out, and I apologized for THAT, but man, to tell someone to never rag on an audience member- at a meeting of Free Thinkers? Uhm. no. Not going to happen. He can remain out of my demographic, thanks. I was later told he is a hair-trigger kind of guy and some days he's a gem and others he's a spoiled egg. Guess which one he was that day? He gave me material!
So, the final censorship. When someone says, "I thought you were very funny, and I liked what you said about the religions but don't ever pick on the Jews. It's just not true." I had to have her repeat herself. First, she was interrupting the comedy critic, but to actually say to someone, "yes, you can say what you want, but not about MY people", is just twisted. That is censorship in it's basic form. It's telling someone- You can have opinions as long as they're completely in line with mine. Again, Free thinking organization. Again, I was pointing out the stupidity of stereotypes- and yet... the lady was there as long as comedy critic.
Fortunately, a man in his 80's came up and saved me from the "Editing Committee". His name is Del and he calls himself the oldest living male feminist. I just enjoyed chatting with him and he GOT everything I was talking about. In fact, the majority of the people who went apparently liked me enough to ask me to return, and I have dozens of letters from the audience members who didn't feel I missed a mark, or those who said I made them laugh about the silliness of people. I had edited my show for THESE people, and that worked out just fine.
There is a substantial difference between those who want to laugh and those who want to dictate what others should be laughing at to begin with. There's a distinct difference between those who listen to comedians and those who go to watch a ballet. In a ballet, you wouldn't hear of someone sitting by the stage, and taking a dancer aside to tell him how he needed to demi-plie in a way that didn't show his jock strap. But, in comedy, this is kind of a job hazard.
Someone will come up and tell you a joke and follow it with, "oh and you can use it if you want". Others will come up to you and let you know how THEY would tell your jokes. But, when you turn around asking if they are comedians, "Oh no, I could never do that." So don't tell me how to do it. I ask advice from people I've seen on stage and who have seen my show- they have work experience in my field. I would never think to go to a nursing station and tell an RN "Yeah you should probably use a 3mm needle and then wrap surgical stockings on anyone who says they're republican." Why? What would I do that for? It makes no sense. Yet, it's exactly the thinking people have when they try to "help" a comedian. In fact, they're censoring. Telling someone what to say and how to say it is the ultimate form of censorship when its relative to the whole "free speech" thing.
A comedian knows what is working by hearing laughs. It's the principle. It's the payoff. It's the interest, too. When my porn stuff wasn't working, I moved on to the other stuff. The TV stuff worked just fine. The show was okay- not my worst, not my best, but for a day show- it's one of the better ones- despite the self appointed editors.
I'm editing a new show.. about people who censor comedians. It's called "fuck censorship".
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Classes, Competitions and Contests
The C words of comedy-- Classes, Competitions and Contests- they're supposed to bring you fame and fortune far sooner than if you had years of stage time, but is that the case? If you go to a comedy club and see "As Seen on Last Comic Standing" you may find yourself watching the middle act, not the headliner. Seems as if the reality of being a comedian who can handle all audiences is an issue for those who shortcut. It's not like karaoke, ala American Idol, where you can practice in front of your bathroom mirror and grandparents. A good comic knows that the audience on Wednesday may rock, and one on Friday may look at you as if you had a penis growing out of your forehead.
The Hollywood dream of comedians finding a producer in the audience worshiping every word, and begging her to write the next major sitcom, is a rare and more often unrealized one. Yet, if you go to the clubs in Los Angeles you'll find a lot of very pretty people ACTING like comedians. Some hire writers. Others creatively borrow from other real writers, and discover that dialing it in isn't working. When they wake up and see that their not getting movie role offers, the clubs have suffered the consequences. No one wants to see unfunny comedy. The glut of comedians in the 80's produced hundreds of dead clubs.
So comics avoided the clubs that seemed to put more prettier-than-life people on mics. They searched for other ways to get noticed. One started a show called "Last Comic Standing" which was supposed to be Real World meets Survivor meets American Idol. Comedians were going to out-funny each other, and get network notice. Well, it sort of backfired when the reality HIT the reality TV circuit- and it was discovered that the networks were pushing judges to select the pretty-made-for-tv-actor-comics over those who had the chops, and the skills, to keep an audience laughing. The show failed comedians the way the comedy clubs in LA were failing- not dealing with the idea that people wanted to laugh with a comedy writer/performer, rather than see an idealized version of what a comedian should be. That fails both the comedian and the audience- and yet thrives because pretty people who fail make great TV.
There is a comedy class in nearly every major city in the United States. Do comedy classes help people? Yes. You will get personalized guidance, and you will get tips on how to handle stage situations from those who have been through the trenches. People who fail at classes are those who assume that material will suddenly appear out of nowhere, who don't put the writing first, and those who assume that fame is part of the comedy equation. It's not. The three parts of comedy are Performance, Writing, Audience Reaction. If you can't ace all three, you will never be a comedian. The classes help in getting people past obstacles involving all three. But, they only work if the performer is willing to put effort into it. The comedian will save months of stage time if s/he immerses into the process rather than just does the class, and nothing else. You have to perform, you have to be on stage, you have to write. And you have to fail.
This is the competition corner of the blog- Competition is great for those who are better performers under pressure. For those who pepper themselves with the tiniest bit of self doubt- you are not someone who will do well in a competitive environment. It only takes one moment of "I wonder if that's working?" to fall flat on your face. If you feel doubt, the audience and judges feel it, too. And, even if you win a competition, you still have to be consistent to get gigs. Some people are great competitors but don't bring the funny EVERY time on stage. To succeed you need that edge- the bookers will see if you aren't getting a response, and you can't rely on one competition to make your career. Yet, that seems to be the option for those who really aren't ready to be career comedians.
The short cuts only work if you have the chops to begin with and certainly only work with those who are going to be putting out the effort well after those experiences end. There are pretty people in comedy. There are mediocre stars. There are those who have taken the shorter routes, but still managed to keep their career going. Dedication to yourself, your idea of funny, and writing will get you farther. The ability for those to appreciate your efforts ensure your comedic future. Quitting doesn't do anything to improve your chances of being the next big star. And, sometimes a shear comprehension of bombing well does.
The Hollywood dream of comedians finding a producer in the audience worshiping every word, and begging her to write the next major sitcom, is a rare and more often unrealized one. Yet, if you go to the clubs in Los Angeles you'll find a lot of very pretty people ACTING like comedians. Some hire writers. Others creatively borrow from other real writers, and discover that dialing it in isn't working. When they wake up and see that their not getting movie role offers, the clubs have suffered the consequences. No one wants to see unfunny comedy. The glut of comedians in the 80's produced hundreds of dead clubs.
So comics avoided the clubs that seemed to put more prettier-than-life people on mics. They searched for other ways to get noticed. One started a show called "Last Comic Standing" which was supposed to be Real World meets Survivor meets American Idol. Comedians were going to out-funny each other, and get network notice. Well, it sort of backfired when the reality HIT the reality TV circuit- and it was discovered that the networks were pushing judges to select the pretty-made-for-tv-actor-comics over those who had the chops, and the skills, to keep an audience laughing. The show failed comedians the way the comedy clubs in LA were failing- not dealing with the idea that people wanted to laugh with a comedy writer/performer, rather than see an idealized version of what a comedian should be. That fails both the comedian and the audience- and yet thrives because pretty people who fail make great TV.
There is a comedy class in nearly every major city in the United States. Do comedy classes help people? Yes. You will get personalized guidance, and you will get tips on how to handle stage situations from those who have been through the trenches. People who fail at classes are those who assume that material will suddenly appear out of nowhere, who don't put the writing first, and those who assume that fame is part of the comedy equation. It's not. The three parts of comedy are Performance, Writing, Audience Reaction. If you can't ace all three, you will never be a comedian. The classes help in getting people past obstacles involving all three. But, they only work if the performer is willing to put effort into it. The comedian will save months of stage time if s/he immerses into the process rather than just does the class, and nothing else. You have to perform, you have to be on stage, you have to write. And you have to fail.
This is the competition corner of the blog- Competition is great for those who are better performers under pressure. For those who pepper themselves with the tiniest bit of self doubt- you are not someone who will do well in a competitive environment. It only takes one moment of "I wonder if that's working?" to fall flat on your face. If you feel doubt, the audience and judges feel it, too. And, even if you win a competition, you still have to be consistent to get gigs. Some people are great competitors but don't bring the funny EVERY time on stage. To succeed you need that edge- the bookers will see if you aren't getting a response, and you can't rely on one competition to make your career. Yet, that seems to be the option for those who really aren't ready to be career comedians.
The short cuts only work if you have the chops to begin with and certainly only work with those who are going to be putting out the effort well after those experiences end. There are pretty people in comedy. There are mediocre stars. There are those who have taken the shorter routes, but still managed to keep their career going. Dedication to yourself, your idea of funny, and writing will get you farther. The ability for those to appreciate your efforts ensure your comedic future. Quitting doesn't do anything to improve your chances of being the next big star. And, sometimes a shear comprehension of bombing well does.
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