Monday, October 13, 2008

Smart Men. Dumb Men.

I would rather spend ten hours with a person who is literate, has an opinion, and would be happy to talk about life than someone who putz around with a car, talks about "screwin'' and thinks fine dining is sitting INSIDE instead of hitting the drive-thru.

That said, there are people who do THINK for a living, and they are the ones who have always been the sexiest human beings on the planet to me.

Marc Maron, for one, is a thinker. Whether the topics is his cats, or Obama, he always has something interesting to say, and a great way of saying it. Very sexy. Very cool. He may not be the guy that you'd find at starbucks, but he certainly will tell you all ABOUT the guy at starbucks, who is working there, why they are there, and what they assume the world is about- and he'd be right. Coffee and cigs to Marc- he's earned them.

Henry Rollins is a thinker. He's a book-boy- the kind you find perusing the mom and pop used book stores, wondering if the next great find is just around the next shelf. He talks about politics from the perspective of a son-of-a-military man, and that shows in every event he's in. I listen to Black Flag with equal aplomb to his spoken shows- and he always makes me wonder why I didn't articulate as well exactly the words he uses.

Eddie Izzard- looks better in bright red lipstick than I do, but my favorite moment was sitting next to him for the entire showing of The Aristocrats in the Hollywood premiere...thinking..this is the sexiest man who has ever crossed dressed, and that's one tomboy I wants to play in the sane-box with. He makes thinking a way of life- and he's just stunningly sexy.

Now there are far too many stupid men on this planet. (mccain) There are so many that just starting a list of them (bush) seems useless as I think there aren't enough ink jets in the world to print that list up.

Stupid men tell you something you already know and try to make it sound like their original idea. They try to impress you with a vocabulary garnished from dictipedia, and amusing anecdon'ts. They will belittle the intelligent guy, and assume you will go along for the joke. To me, and many women, they are hideously boring. When a guy starts comments, "I just heard this..." you know that they're testing an idea that THEY find stupid, but want to see if it's acceptable to others.

Meanwhile, there's Dave Barry sitting at home, talking about his wife and kids with the same enthusiasm as Einstein talked about mathematics. My first crush was on Gene Wilder because he made me laugh.. and he was smart about it. Yes, he was in the most famous fart-joke movie ever, but he was still smart. Smart, funny. Witty, wise. These are the qualities of attractive men.

I bring this up because the other night I mentioned to someone I liked Sci-Fi nerds. I like them, and I find them very sexy. Kevin Smith is a sci-fi nerd, as is Seth MacFarlane- they could each recite lines from the FIRST Star Wars movie back and forth to each other, and then have a full conversation in iambic pentameter reguarding anything including shoe-horns, (a word I find quite amusing). One of my friends said, "Sci fi is for idiots", and I think I wanted to laugh at her, hard, and wonder if she has ever seeeeeen David Tennant in Dr. Who, or the equally gorgeous, yet somehow just too gregarious gay-boy-toy, John Barrowman in Torchwood.

Thinking boys are the best. They not only have read the Karma Sutra, they can tell you the Klingon sex games, and even offer you a handful of skittles as they do it. I mean do it.

I married a guy who is now a sci-fi nerd. He wasn't when I met him. Now when we're zoning on the couch, when he has the remote, which is always, he flips to the Sci-fi channel, the nerdiest movies, and he can recite EVERY line in Fargo, which isn't a Sci-fi movie, but is a good brain-man movie just the same. He was always a book-boy, though, and that's a huge thing with me, (writer and all), because it means he is still learning about life, and approaches the world anew with every turned page. Clancy, Ludlum, or King- he devours what he reads- and then joins me in the discussions of biographies- Beatles to single moms. He gets the idea that life is about what you don't know THEN about what you do.

That's smart boy sexy.

And he's funny. Not Izzard-Maron funny, but in a Farrelly Brothers Neurotic kind of way. That's a good sci-fi nerd trait.

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